[Grizzly]

<p>My third cousin.  How's that for specificity?   His Dad I consider an uncle because he was brought up by my Grandparents, so the kid is really my "cousin".</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My uncle is a very distant, wounded, sterotypically German man.  Get the picture?  His mom is a wonderful woman, but very shy and retiring and dominated.  The cousin has been belittled since birth and I think has some aspects of Autism Spectrum disorder.  He's now in his early 40's.  Graduated from college, lives in a small town and works as a clerk in a grocery.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His posts on Facebook have been getting more and more scary.  Alternately angry at the world, angry at friends for not calling, angry at work, then sad, then pensive and philosophical, "Will anyone miss me" kind of thing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I can't approach his parents, uncle is dying of Parkinson's, aunt is just not approachable with that sort of thing.  I reached out to him and wrote him telling him that I am worried for him and wondering if he has someone impartial with whom he can talk and bounce ideas off of.  I told him that I had to seek professinal help once or twice in my life, and that while it was hard to do (true), it was ultimately worth it (not quite so true). </p>
<p> </p>
<p>My sisters and I are worried about him going postal. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not sure what to do, because I do feel a family tie and I do feel responsible to some degree, more so to the world now that I see that there's something potentially amiss.</p>
<p><br>
What would you do?</p>

 

[merigayle]

<p>can you invite him over for dinner? is he lonely? maybe he just needs company? i think being open about getting help in the past helps open the doors, but not sure what else you can do.</p>

 

[Grizzly]

<p>He's about 600  miles away in a very small town.  Sister concurs that his facebook status postings have her scared.  I've reached out, now to see what his response is.</p>

 

[Floridaboiler]

<p>Good Luck Grizz,</p>
<p>Keep on reaching out to him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>

 

[rlemert]

<p>  I hate to say it, but I think you need to contact someone in or near his town about the situation. A place that small is unlikely to have it's own police department or mental health office, and I'm not sure they would have the training to deal with something like this anyway. I suspect that you'd be better off Provincial mental health offices or police department.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  Here's a thought: Get someone local to stop by your place (or go to their office) and show them the Facebook postings you're concerned about. They can advise you on what you can do to help, and they probably have a better idea of the resources that would be available at your cousin's end.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  Good luck.</p>

 

[merigayle]

<p>also, does he go to a church? maybe have the pastor come talk to him?</p>

 

[jebba]

<p>I would see if there's any kind of social services office (Adult protective services?) who can give you advice.  If not in that town, at least in that area.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sucks.</p>

 

[RaisingArizonainNH]

<p> All above are good suggestions.  The fact that you have expressed your concern hopefully will be enough to let him know that he has a reason not to do anything drastic.</p>