WWY'allD

airehead · Jun 29, 2011

Hypothetical, totally imaginary situation:
 
Say you're a dude and you are one of a trio of leadership in an office.
You are not at the top of that trio.
 
Say there is an admin professional there.
 
Say she really works for the highest ranking of the leadership, but
does a lot for the whole office.
 
Say you are leaving, and you have always bought gifts for the
admin staff, but this time you don't want to b/c:
 
 
1. Since you arrived a year ago, she has been very nasty.
 
2. She gossips mercilessly and know full well once your back
is turned she gossips about you. You have counseled her about
her behavior.
 
3. She had direct contact with really young kids working in the
office (early, early 20s) and vented every thought in her head and did not consider her
negative impact on their mentoring, in fact, going so far the other way
as to speak poorly about the boss (not you) constantly in front of them. (Often
in less than polite words)--this behavior directly affected the attitude of
these young kids. Granted the boss was very difficult to work for.
This behavior was also counseled.
 
 
Would you buy her a gift?
 
You did give her an admin prof. day gift--out of your own pocket, none of the other leadership chipped in. (a starbux gc and a personal note of appreciation) She was very grudging in her acceptance.

gretriever · Jun 29, 2011

If she only has contact with you in the workplace, no. If she can't figure out from that (non- ?) gestture that she didn't treat you with professional respect (which is all one should ask and expect in an office setting), then the no gift decision is more than wise.

airehead · Jun 29, 2011

No private friendship, sadly. 

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by gretriever <a href="/forum/thread/74395/wwy-alld#post_2005249"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a> If she only has contact with you in the workplace, no. If she can't figure out from that (non- ?) gestture that she didn't treat you with professional respect (which is all one should ask and expect in an office setting), then the no gift decision is more than wise. 
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gretriever · Jun 29, 2011

Now OTOH, you could take the honorable route and get something anyways. (i.e., either way has its merits). But if she's damaging the place by her attitude (the comment on her conduct with the young employees, for example), getting her something could be seen as condoning her actions to the office, let alone you. If the business gets bad publicity/results/goes out of business because anything she did, getting her something could remotely make you on her side. Not in a legal liablity sense, but in a "she's not too good a judge of character" way. 
 
Edited to add: I think you are a good judge of character. After having met me a couple times, I've seen you make comments along the lines of "G-Dawg? Oh he's a character, all right." <img alt="biggrin.gif" id="user_yui_3_3_0_8_130936074980520" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif" style="width:16px;height:16px;">

airehead · Jun 29, 2011

I was of the opinion a small token, like a nice clock, to say thank you for the good that was done...
 
 

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by gretriever <a href="/forum/thread/74395/wwy-alld#post_2005251"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a> Now OTOH, you could take the honorable route and get something anyways. (i.e., either way has its merits). But if she's damaging the place by her attitude (the comment on her conduct with the young employees, for example), getting her something could be seen as condoning her actions to the office, let alone you. If the business gets bad publicity/results/goes out of business because anything she did, getting her something could remotely make you on her side. Not in a legal liablity sense, but in a "she's not too good a judge of character" way. 
 
Edited to add: I think you are a good judge of character. After having met me a couple times, I've seen you make comments along the lines of "G-Dawg? Oh he's a character, all right." <img alt="biggrin.gif" id="user_yui_3_3_0_8_130936074980520" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif" style="width:16px;height:16px;">
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RaisingArizonainNH · Jun 29, 2011

I am sadly out of date in the way of office politics.. but I thought the one who was leaving usually gets the gift? That's the way it works in schools... 
SO given that she has done her job ( for which she is paid) but has not done you any extra favors ( ie the gossip and needing redirection ) I would give her nothing. If you feel really guilty give a token thank you note with a $10 coffee card or something of that nature.

runfishhunt · Jun 29, 2011

I'd give her a handwritten note that said "seeya later bitch!"

kerfwango · Jun 29, 2011

If I wasn't prepared to give this person a professional recommendation, I wouldn't give them a gift.

airehead · Jun 29, 2011

Excellent thought.
 
I'd like the balls to do what RFH suggested, lol.
 
What if there were mitigating factors to her attitude? Like say the person she worked for (who also just left) had some serious mental issues and was very difficult to work for. She worked for him for two years.
<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by kerfwango <a href="/forum/thread/74395/wwy-alld#post_2005284"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a> If I wasn't prepared to give this person a professional recommendation, I wouldn't give them a gift.
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RaisingArizonainNH · Jul 1, 2011

No gift.. unless the mental boss was YOU?? <img alt="wink.gif" id="user_yui_3_3_0_8_130948607629613" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/wink.gif" style="width:16px;height:16px;">

airehead · Jul 1, 2011

I may be mental, but I'm certainly not the boss!! <img alt="icon_colors.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/icon_colors.gif"> 

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by RaisingArizonainNH <a href="/forum/thread/74395/wwy-alld#post_2005446"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a> No gift.. unless the mental boss was YOU?? <img alt="wink.gif" id="user_yui_3_3_0_8_130948607629613" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/wink.gif" style="width:16px;height:16px;">
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kerfwango · Jul 1, 2011

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by airehead <a href="/forum/thread/74395/wwy-alld#post_2005285"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a> What if there were mitigating factors to her attitude? Like say the person she worked for (who also just left) had some serious mental issues and was very difficult to work for. She worked for him for two years.
 
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 Not sure. What was she like before she worked for the psycho? Generally, though, everyone has had to work with difficult people. It's how we handle it that makes us professional or unprofessional. At some point, if someone is so difficult to work for that it impacts your attitude and your ability to work with others, you have a decision to make whether or not to stay or move on to a more constructive environment.

akern · Jul 7, 2011

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by runfishhunt <a href="/forum/thread/74395/wwy-alld#post_2005282"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a> I'd give her a handwritten note that said "seeya later bitch!"
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This is clearly the most logical course of action.

WWY'allD

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