[Buxtehude]

Alright, so I'm putting together a handy little list of witty retorts and zingers that I can keep in my purse.<br><br>
Share some of your best responses to insults and stuff here:<br><br>
________________________________________

 

[Xavier Dan Q]

<i>Bite me!</i>

 

[runningINnyc]

Will you laminate the list?

 

[Buxtehude]

Yes, I will laminate it! Good idea! It needs to be waterproof when the drinks start flying.

 

[Sputnik]

I'm rubber & you're glue. Everything you say bounces off me & sticks to you.<br><br>
Ever say that in elementary school?

 

[runningINnyc]

<i>So does your mom!</i><br><br>
*or*<br><br><i>Your mom!</i>

 

[mmoonptdeux]

Heh, you call that a purse? Now THIS...is a purse!<br><br>
Wait a minute...what the hell am I doing with a purse? <scrambles away>

 

[HighHeat]

<i>"how's your wife and my kids?"<br><br>
"wife's fine, but the kids are kinda slow..."</i>

 

[Alternative School Grrl]

Are you really that (fill in whatever that person is) or is it a trick of the light?<br><br>
Example:<br><br>
A person spits on the sidewalk and you almost step in it..<br><br>
"Are you really that inconsiderate, or is it a trick of the light?"

 

[Complete Pete]

Yesterday one of our warehouse guys, known for poor hygene remarked "Oh, look, diet soda for fat people"<br><br>
I brought him the dial and said "Oh look, soap for filthy people"

 

[Xavier Dan Q]

Do you remember the book, <i>Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions</i> ?<br><br>
I miss that book.<br><br><a href="http://www.leedberg.com/mad/satsq/satsq.html" target="_blank">http://www.leedberg.com/mad/satsq/satsq.html</a>

 

[rlemert]

This one's good because by the time they've figured out whether or not you've insulted them, you're gone.<br><br>
"May your dream be granted to become the lead <i>Castrati</i> in the Vatican Choir."

 

[HighHeat]

<i>"Every day I spend with you is better than the next."</i>

 

[Buxtehude]

Now <i>that's</i> unique.

 

[ElDuderino]

<i>I know you are but what am I?</i>... classic<br><br>
or adding "in your butt" to the end of a normal sentence...<br><br><i>"Hey can you file these TPS reports... in your butt"</i><br><br><img alt="laughing7.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/laughing7.gif">

 

[oache]

<i>I'm with you when you're right.</i><br><br><i>Call me when you've had a cognitive thought.</i><br><br><i>I've forgotten more about _____ then you'll ever know!!!</i>

 

[wyrillco]

Screw you guys, I'm going home.

 

[Buxtehude]

These are funny.<br><br>
I worked with a gal who'd often say "deuces!"<br><br>
I'm not sure what that meant.

 

[altoids]

I think it is a bad sign that I very briefly thought this was intended to be a witty retort. <img alt="sad.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/sad.gif">

 

[Grizzly]

Suffering a bit from l'esprit de l'escalier?