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<p>  I've posted this in the PRT, mainly because of comments I made two weeks ago when I was upset after talking to my dad on his 84th birthday on June 6. I'm cross-posting here since some of you met him at the pre-race dinner before the first Eugene Marathon a few years ago. (Mom is getting a double whammy right now, too, because her sister has also been having significant medical issues lately, so she's losing two of the people closest to her at the same time.)</p>
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<p>  Except for one incident of low blood sugar that had us calling out the paramedics, the visit was much more pleasant than I was afraid it might be. The dad I know is still there and still comes through in most casual chats, although he is getting buried more and more often. He was officially diagnosed with early dementia the day before I showed up, and the signs of it are fairly obvious. He repeats himself regularly and has trouble understanding both what time it is and what day it is. Physically he's very slow, and he doesn't have enough strength to get himself back up if he falls down (or sometimes if he just sits). He did okay while I was there, but he's often going to bed before five in the evening, then getting up in the middle of the night.</p>
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<p>  Mom and Dad both seem to be taking his diagnosis fairly well. I think they're both happy to know that there's a reason for some of the troubles he's going through. The doctor wants him to exercise both physically and mentally, but I think dad's so depressed about growing old that he just can't get up the ambition to do either.</p>
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<p>  Our (my siblings and I) are most concerned about mom, because she keeps acting like she's going to be the big martyr and take care of everything by herself. Fortunately she has accepted the Visiting Angels volunteer (who I met and talked to), so she is getting some help. My sister is meanwhile trying to convince mom that she should start considering an assisted living center.</p>
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<p>  I'll be taking the rest of my family back home in about three weeks for a previously scheduled vacation (dad had originally wanted to make it their 60th anniversary celebration). I'm now comfortable that the visit won't be too upsetting for DW and DS.</p>
 

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<p>...man,</p>
<p>this is a Tough Time for you, many of us have had similiar experiences,</p>
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<p>you get thru them, but that's about it.</p>
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<p>I wish Strength and Peace to Your Heart......</p>
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<p>you're in our prayers...</p>
 

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<p>rlemert - sorry to hear the news of your father.  Certainly a difficult time for your family.  It will become increasingly more difficult for your mom to take care of him unless she has a strong close (local) support system.</p>
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<p>As Tom already said; we'll prayer for your family.</p>
 

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<p>rlemert, my thoughts are with you, as I've been there too.</p>
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<p>Getting them to the point where they are accepting of outside help is a huge and important step. As they get comfortable with that, then the next steps are a bit easier. If you can tie in with the Visiting Angel on a regular basis (and it looks like you've set up a good basis for that), it can be a big help to you in getting news on what's going on with them, if needed.  I found from my experience that as time went on, my parents withheld more and more info from me, partly due to their conditions, but also so as "not to worry me".... which of course tends to have the exact opposite effect.  My brother and I were both less than 2 hours away from my parents, and visited often, but the public health nurses that got involved were an invaluable lifeline for us.</p>
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<p>Hang in there.</p>
 

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<p>Rich,</p>
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<p>thoughts & prayers with you and your family during this tough time. I recall having the pleasure of meeting both you and your folks at one of those big meetups in Eugene a few years back, there must of been 20 of us there. I don't have any experience dealing with this yet, but I'll certainly second what the previous posters had to say. Take care Rich, and drop in from time to time to let us know what's going on.</p>
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<p>John</p>
 

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<p>Rich, I too recall meeting your parents at the Eugene dinner. Nice nice folks. Sorry to read this about your dad. When my grandpa had Alzheimers and Parkinson's, my grandma tried for the longest time to take care of him herself and she did a great job, but it was very trying on her too. Dementia is such a tough thing for both the person affected and those taking care of the person. Accepting the outside help will help tremendously.</p>
<p>I'll keep all of you in thoughts and prayers.</p>
 
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