Runners Forum - Kick Runners banner
1 - 20 of 35 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,910 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I guess I'll give the ending away first, DNF at mile 16. Of course, if you've run more than a mile, then you know it's about the journey and not necessarily the destination. (Unless you're one of those fast-type people in the front, HA!).<br><br>
For the newer reader, I'll summarize a little background for you. For those of you who have heard the story a million times before, shut the fuck up and skim-read. <img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/smile.gif"> Anyway, flash-back three or four years now, I topped the scale at 400lbs., smoked a pack a day, two packs on good days and really enjoyed drinking, probably a little too much. This happy story finds antag (me) fat, drunk, short of breath and generally depressed. I saw a picture of me one of my friends had taken, where I was a giant blob of flesh, laying in a back alley, drunk and slovenly.<br><br>
I cried when I saw that picture. A lot.<br><br>
I decided I had to change or die trying (See how the thread title works in here?? Did I mention I'm brilliant and witty too??). I struggled a lot to quit drinking and smoking. Did the yo-yo diet thing, the fad diet, the liquid diet, the atkins diet, the pill diet, the Japanese Diet (That's like the government in Japan, see I am brilliant!!!), the diet-diet and so on and so forth. I also began walking, it's the only exercise I would do, one step at a time, I walked further and faster, painfully learning lessons that come with being a large runner. I also found a running website (which since got assimilated by the Borg but it's cool cause I like this place better anyway) and made a whole lot of imaginary friends. So last year, Surf City, I ran my first race ever, a half-marathon and several months ago, I thought, what a way to complete the circle than to run my first full, exactly one year later?? See this was going to be a crucial point in the book of my life's story (Which I expect you all to buy; hardcover too, don't be cheap!!!). I also lost like 140 lbs. (So I'm 260lbs. and still a big boy, the first person to make a fat joke dies!!!), quit smoking and drinking and seem to generally be on the right track.<br><br>
Like two weeks ago, I suffered as to what I can best describe as a shin splint and made it worse by kind of just ignoring it. Long story short, I was having trouble walking at times when the marathon came around. Many people told me to bag it and not to injure myself worse, the only problem was bagging the marathon wasn’t in my master plan, remember the whole one year exactly thing??<br><br>
Sunday morning came, my shin was knotted and swollen, I was tired from a general lack of sleep and too much fun from out Post Rate Tent weekend gathering of hooligans from Kickrunners and did I mention the weather sucked ass?? Rain, lots of wind and cold. Isn’t this supposed to be sunny SoCal?? Believe it or not, it was a total freak storm that cleared out late afternoon and the days before and after the marathon were perfect. Clearly, the gods have a sense of humor. So in my sleeveless tech shirt, shorts, hat, shoes and socks, I lined up at the crack of dawn for my first marathon. Leg be dammned, I asked myself what’s the worse that could happen? I answered myself, I could die. Well, I thought, it’s grey, cold and wet, today is a good day to die. Plus I was running with Nettie (from the 30’s forum) and couldn’t wuss out in front of a hot chick!<br><br>
So the gun was fired and we were off, wind, rain and what I think was either sand blowing in sideways or maybe something like hail. I started slowly, trying to ease the leg into 26 miles. Like I could ease anything into 26 miles?? Hubris is one of my favorite sins!! Ha! Nettie was off and flying, my plan to keep her in sight, a failure from the first minute. <img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif"> (You’ll have to read her report to see how she did!!). The first few miles were alright, the cold kept me from overheating and the sore leg kept me from going out too fast (too issues I continue to suffer from in training). At like mile 5 or 6, we go down Edwards hill and that was all she wrote. That change in angle pulled my leg wonky and I was in all sorts of pain and the grimace that would adorn my face the rest of the morning became permanently etched.<br><br>
Through the next few miles, we ran through a park, on a trail like setting, which was aligned with kids cheering us on. Normally, I don’t pay much attention to the crowd, other than to gasp a thank you when taking water but this time, the kids made me laugh. They were soaking wet and freezing and yet were running along side of us and screaming at the top of their lungs!!! “You’re almost there!!” Which, at like mile 7 and 8, was really, really, amusing to me. We came out of the park, back up the hill and began winding back to the main course, where we hit the half marathon pack.<br><br>
Now I remember last year, running the half and hearing the full runners complaining about the sudden merge of the two and thinking what’s the big deal?? Yeah, I learned what the big deal was. I imagine it would be something like running with the bulls, only you’ve been running for 10 miles and the bulls were fresh out of the gate. I was swallowed by a sea of people, bumping me on all sides, one guy almost knocked me off balance as he ricocheted off of my back and up onto a curb in an effort to get around me; just ask dude, I would have stepped aside. OK, probably not. <img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/smile.gif">. So now that everyone is flying by me, I feel like I just slowed down to a crawl and then forced myself to speed up to stop the wave of people passing me. It really screwed with my head.<br><br>
Anyway, I plodded on, the leg was on fire but I willed myself to push forward. I didn’t realize that I had now started to change my foot strike on my sore leg in an effort to ease the pain. This, of course, changed my gait and after about three miles of that, my calf cramped on the sore leg, followed by my hamstring cramping on the opposite leg as well as throwing both knees into the red zone from the funky stride/gait. By mile 15, I was down to a hobble/jog thing and I swear I looked so bad, if I were an animal, you would have shot me to put me out of my misery and I would have welcomed it. I did manage a chuckle when a lady stopped and asked me if I was doing the full? I managed a sheepish ‘yes’ (For a minute, I thought she was going to, in fact, put me out of my misery. I quickly scanned her for a gun.) and then she asked is this was the right way as all she could see was the flood of halfer’s sweeping us away. I gave her a hearty, ‘I think so’ and she was off, swept downstream.<br><br>
Mile 16 was the turn off for the full and the course wound again away from the finish. It was here my heart sank as I was defeated. I just couldn’t bring myself to continue further away from the finish/my truck/rest and warm clothes. Any fight I had left in me, was ripped away by the weather, I was walking and that was really painful. So I walked the next two miles, back to the finish, I pulled off my race number and went across the street, to the sidewalk. I was shivering, beat up and defeated. The last thing I wanted was to be around any hoopla. So cold and alone, I stumbled back to my truck, got in, turned on the heat, changed clothes and just sat back and collected my thoughts.<br><br>
My marathon attempt ended, not with a triumphant finish across the finish line but in a silent whimper. The agony of defeat was left at mile 16 and sitting there, in the truck, I reflected on the race, the cold, wind, rain and the dumbass kids that managed to make me laugh at a really low point. I wondered how my fellow Kickrunners were doing, most of them long since done before I even made it back to the truck.<br><br>
Then I looked down and saw the chip, still tied to my shoe and cursed under my breath as I opened the heavy door and stepped back out into that cold rain, to hobble back to the finish, to return the chip.<br><br>
As I limped back through the sea of finishers, I thought, I guess today wasn’t my day to die.<br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
***<br>
I cursed loudly when I was told later that day that I could have mailed the chip back. <img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
140 Posts
But you ran 16 miles...imagine telling yourself 4 years ago you were going to go run 16 miles...that's the way cool part. As for the I feel horrible and don't know why I ever wanted to do this part...I feel that way every time I run a marathon. Different degrees, obviously, and fortunately I've avoided serious issues like shin splints...<br><br>
Seems like mile 23 is usually the gut check for me. The why did I think this was fun mile. I look forward to hearing about your next chapter, and I'll be pleased to read your next try at a marathon if you give it another go.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,024 Posts
Antag - I am sorry it was not the race you wanted, but you pushed yourself though 16 miles. That is more then a lot of people even manage to walk while not in pain. Give yourself some time to heal and then tackle another full.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18,642 Posts
wow, tks for the ride. you made me laugh and cry.<br>
I'll buy your book.<br>
Like I said before. It fkn sucks, but you pushed far enough and did the right thing when you stopped.<br>
Pick the next one and SMASH IT!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
16,290 Posts
Anty-<br>
thank you for sharing this with us. I remember your first half report last year, it made me cry, in a good way. You have busted your ass and worked very hard, unfortunately, Sunday was not your day. I hope you can heal your leg and come back and be triumphant at another race. I thought about you a lot this weekend during my race. I am really proud of you and everything you have done, and i know there will be more to come in the future. I was very saddened to learn that you had to bow out of the race, but it was truly the best decision you could have made. Continuing could have caused a serious injury, especially with the change in gait. DNF= did nothing fatal.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,027 Posts
You have come so far, antag. You just need the right day and you will get to 26.2.<br><br>
Now get that shin checked out and healed and start working on it!<br><br>
Thanks for a lively read as always! <img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
617 Posts
Dude! Legs on fire eventually snap, so you made a good decision! Not to sound cliche, but DNF is a million times better than DNS.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
933 Posts
Ant ....<br><br>
I also remember your report from last year. One of the best I've ever read. Once you fix your leg and finish that "journey", you'll appreciate this as part of it.<br>
Dude, I've done 16 marathons .... my only DNF was in Long Beach (SoCal) .. you need to come north! <img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/smile.gif"><br>
Really though, it's a lesson. Take it and use it in the future and you'll succeed.<br>
I'm proud of you (what the heck does that mean? .... <img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/smile.gif">)<br><br>
hup
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,720 Posts
Sorry the race didn't go as you'd hoped, but it was an inspiring story. Many people don't realize how difficult weight loss is, nor how challenging running a half- or a full marathon can be. You've now done 2 half marathons (plus a few extra miles on a bum leg), and accomplished a helluva lot. Good for you! Find yourself a good PT to help with the leg, and keep at it. Well done.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,188 Posts
Anty,<br><br>
It takes a lot of courage to toe the line for a marathon in a monsoon and with an injury.<br><br>
I should have at least brought you a fuggin' pancake for your efforts.<br><br>
your wimpy bagged out because of a little rain pal,<br><br>
oache<br><br>
ps. I enjoyed finally meeting you and you will have your day in the sun in the future.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
893 Posts
As a new guy here, that was the first time I had heard your "story" - very cool!<br><br>
Good job hanging in for so long. it's pretty clear that you will be back out on the roads very soon and that your next marathon will be a very different story!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,268 Posts
Anty - Snooze is right, you are completely lovable. <img alt="wink.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/wink.gif"> Your transformation has been incredible, and honestly, I would love to read the book when you write it!<br><br>
A DNF was not what you planned, but it can't take away how much you have already accomplished. Running ONE mile is hard, but you did 16, with an injury, in nastyass weather. And all those miles of training ... you did those, no one else did them for you.<br><br>
You have the drive & determination, you'll get there for sure. I can't wait to read the report when you do.<br><br>
And ... you were an awesome VRAA captain. I miss it already!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,393 Posts
Wow! That is one gutty performance. I'm proud of you. Look at how mentally strong you are. Many people can train the physicall side but never quite get the mental side that's need to be a tough competitor (even if you're just competing against yourself). You've got mental toughness by the bucketload!<br><br>
Congrats on your progress and your performance. These challenges will just make the next one all that more sweeter.<br><br>
BTW, I'll buy the book, so keep writing it.<br><br>
You Rock! And thanks again for your efforts as captain. It was an honor to be on your team.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,331 Posts
So you had a bad day...<br>
And we benefit from it, doesn't seem right. Thanks for sharing this story, there is much to gain from it and a few smiles and laughs along the way. Congratulations on starting your first marathon, get healthy, and finish one. You are tough as nails, I know you will be writing a marathon finishing report soon.<br><br>
I like rainy miserable days... makes the nice ones all the nicer.<br><br>
Congratulations on reclaiming your life. Inspirational.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,698 Posts
I have read your story before, but it's a good one, so I'm glad to have read it again.<br><br>
Yes, you were smart to stop at 16.<br><br>
Healing vibes to your shin. I'm sure you'll be back and you will run your first 26.2 and many more.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
561 Posts
Hey Anty, you have overcome alot to get to Surf City, but you had a rough time between the flu and this shin problem. You did the right thing at mile 16 (burning sensation=BAD). Heal up and run with the Long Beach group again this summer. I'll be there this year so you can have the pleasure of passing me on all the long runs (and you will too, I'm usually in the back). There will be other marathons for you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,083 Posts
I reckon I was about the only one who advised you, leg be damned, run the race anyway. But as I told you out there, if you didn't line up at the start, then it was 100-percent certain you wouldn't finish. You have my respect (that and a buck-three-eighty will get you on the bus) for saying the hell with it and giving it a shot. No regrets. You gave it all you had. At least now you don't have to wonder, what if? It didn't turn out to be the ending you wanted, but there's always another chapter to be written. Learn from it, heal up and come back even hungrier for the next one.<br><br>
On a personal note, it was so freakin' awesome to finally catch up with you, bro!
 
1 - 20 of 35 Posts
Top