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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think we work fairly well together.<br><br>
Recently, she has been asking if I can drop the kids off "later" because she is busy. I hate this for two reasons: 1) The kids are always tired now, they have circles under their eyes, and fall asleep randomly. 2) A couple times I've dropped them off late at her friend's house. They have a child as well and are good people, but at 8pm?<br><br>
I hate the way she walks all over me. She asked if I could drop them off later on Sunday evening, here is my reply:<br><br>
 

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Mort, this is exactly why a visitation schedule needs to be followed. Do you have specific days and times that you are supposed to have them? Not having a schedule is really detrimental to the children's adjustment to living in two homes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you for reminding me how important schedules are. I am king of schedules, even though since my Big D I've been personally thrown off.<br><br>
No visitation schedules. I have "liberal visitation"
 

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My stand up career refuses to take wing. <img alt="sad.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/sad.gif">
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<img alt="huh.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/huh.gif"><br><br>
I see them all the time fool. I'm still new to the game, CTFU?
 

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You're a one trick poney, Mort.<br><br>
Its a pretty good trick, though. <img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif">
 

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<img alt="" src="http://i30.tinypic.com/2qapttx.jpg" style="border:0px solid;"><br><br><br><i>Mort is just cranky right now and his sense of humor is off a little <img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif"></i>
 

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That sucks, Mort. Did they seem tired before daylight savings time? How old are they? What is she busy doing, anyway?
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Yes, they were tired before DSL (Saving is singular! <img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif">) Busy, heh. You guys are going to hate her more here, but she's going to an "early dinner" an hour and a half away. A friend is flying in for bidness Sunday from out of town and they want to get together.
 

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Mort,<br><br>
My ex and I used to go round and round about that one. He was forever changing the girls schedules in order to accomodate his busy schedule (the housekeeper was scheduled, the new gf had other plans, or he would have a "meeting" - o.k., I'll admit I'm still a little bitter). The thing is though, all of my own bitterness aside <img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/smile.gif"> is that it isn't about her schedule or your schedule, it's about the kids. You see that very clearly, but it seems like maybe she's a little fuzzy about that.<br><br>
I think you have the right idea in <b>gently</b> reminding her that late nights are just too hard on the littles. If she has a regular, reoccuring, late night thing scheduled - like maybe she joined a bowling league or something - you could suggest that on that night the littles just stay over with you.<br><br>
Good luck. It's tricky, but the more you can remain friendly with mom, the better for your littles.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
No regular late nights. Attempting to remain as civil as possible. Her response to my email above was "fine."<br><br>
Luckily, the gf offers overnights all the time. They are growing closer, her and the girls. This time she offered to take them in to daycare Monday morning or over to the ex's.
 

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Meh. I dunno what to say Mort. Flexibility is good, but kids need their sleep. I think that dropping the kids off before dinner or after dinner and in their jammies would be reasonable. My kids are in bed between 7 and 7:30 so drop off at 8 would be getting late. What is their normal bed time?
 

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Doh! Daylights saving time. Got it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Well, I got a nasty response from her as a second response to the email above.<br><br>
Anyone wanna see it? To sum it up, she says that I was calling her a P.O.S. and that she could say so much about me, but bites her tongue.<br><br>
Honestly, I was never calling her a POS, I never thought she was. I just don't like the recent pattern of me dropping the kids off "later"...<br><br>
Grrrr
 

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All of us have busy lives and constantly changing schedules. That goes for you as well as your ex. You two need to find a solution that respects each other's schedules PLUS the kid's needs. If you're ok with "later" and the kids have a regular bedtime then it seems like the solution is that "later" has to be before their bedtime for normal "laters" and perhaps a bit past that for special "laters."
 
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