<p>Read this on FB... great write up. Glad to see that your humor hasn't changed -- not a drop, at least since the Carter administration. 
</p>
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RR Sneak off 4 miler
<p>The definition of a sneak off race is one held in some outpost of civilization on a weekend with a whole slew of other races happening closer to where people actually live. My laser eye identified a race called "4 for the Corps" which was in Arcade, NY, the gateway to nowhere. Arriving early, I got my number and noted many others opting to pin it on their back, a clear sign I was in the right place. Runners were warming up by doing gym class exercises, another excellent sign. I ran a couple miles with my dog to warm up and noted a few scrawny XC runners and a couple people who looked decent enough. There were about 100 runners at the start, so i started on the second row in training shoes and off we went. The course was pretty slow and in fact my garmin says it was about 400m long to boot. The first 200m saw a big guy with a walkman leading the race, while the three xc guys ran and yattered about homeroom, not overly worried about the guy playing iron maiden. Sure enough, at 201 yards a pepsi machine fell from the sky and sent our leader hurtling to the back making these awful gasping noises. As we entered the course, I was slowly gaining on the leaders and at the mile mark I was in the lead group. Go freaking figure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I remarked, I haven't led a race since the Carter administration" which elicited some confused looks and reaching for wiki pedias. After a time, one of the xc kids went scuttling to the sea floor, just leaving us three gay <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:'Times New Roman';">Cabalyeros</span> . I was kind of flagging on the uphills, so I just shuffled up and lost contact then slowly ground back. Coming to the turn around I was still in the lead group, but alas we turned and headed up a decent hill to the cone. Adios I cried. Coming back down the hill I tried to cut the tangent hard, hop the ditch and regain contact, but the deed was done. After a time second place dropped off and we were left alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a mile to go, the leader opened a nice gap, laeading me to conclude this was just an easy jog the weekend before sectionals. Second was coming back, but at my rate of closing it would have required we run to Albany to catch him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jogged a couple with my pup dog and headed home. That's three running races for the year for me, which seems like a lot. so far I'm enjoying myself, the key is picking races of true junk quality to bolster my ego.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I remarked, I haven't led a race since the Carter administration" which elicited some confused looks and reaching for wiki pedias. After a time, one of the xc kids went scuttling to the sea floor, just leaving us three gay <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:'Times New Roman';">Cabalyeros</span> . I was kind of flagging on the uphills, so I just shuffled up and lost contact then slowly ground back. Coming to the turn around I was still in the lead group, but alas we turned and headed up a decent hill to the cone. Adios I cried. Coming back down the hill I tried to cut the tangent hard, hop the ditch and regain contact, but the deed was done. After a time second place dropped off and we were left alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a mile to go, the leader opened a nice gap, laeading me to conclude this was just an easy jog the weekend before sectionals. Second was coming back, but at my rate of closing it would have required we run to Albany to catch him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jogged a couple with my pup dog and headed home. That's three running races for the year for me, which seems like a lot. so far I'm enjoying myself, the key is picking races of true junk quality to bolster my ego.</p>
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<p>And you know, it is always those young high school cross-country runners who are wild cards. I talk about them all the time in my race reports from the context of you never know what to expect when they show up in a race. And since they all look the same, it's hard to decipher legit young runners from them in the first mile of the race, because as you know, the pretenders will come back very quickly just like the old dude with clunky walkman and big headphones in your race. I bet he had a sweat band on his forehead too and looked a little like Gene Simons.</p>
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