OT: Cell phone for kids

Yo Sake · Dec 5, 2010

When you look around at school, retaurants, stores, whereever you go, many kids - I mean kids like <10yrs old - have cell phones. My kids have been whining amd mourning about wanting a cellphone for some time. I was firm with them that we wouldn't get them a cell phone until they were old enough to make their own money and pay for it. Well, Until Recently. My husband and I work full-time. Though I work at home with some flexibility but I do travel frequently for work. We had two incidents during the last month or so in which I couldn't get hold of my kids due to some miscommunications, poor after-school care arrangement on my part, etc. I was 300miles away and DH was like somewhere up in the air flying home during one incident.
 
So long story short, we got DD (12) a cell phone for Christmas (not for DS10). Since neither I nor DH has a 'personal' cell phone, it was super expensive to put her on an individual plan ($50+/mo!), so we ended up getting prepaid cell phone deal. Anyway, originally we thought we would give her a super minimum, no texting option plan, but after you started comparing deals, and what you would get for $, we were getting softer and softer and ended up signing up for $25/mo plan. Arg. 
 
Anyway. I am just trying justify what we did for her based on our needs (not necessarily 'her' needs, hers is 'wants'), especially from my perspective. It is absolutely scary not to know where my children are any given moment. We will place some rules and accountability on her so she will not abuse her previleage. 
 
Any opinions on this issue of cell phone & kids? How do/did you deal with your kids' wanting for a cell phone?

pcsronbo · Dec 5, 2010

Mine got a phone when he turned 7 (crappy one on company plan, $9.95/mo), but this was only because he was taking summer classes on a college campus and we were concerned about him getting lost (unfounded) or us not finding him for pick up (founded). Once summer done, it was cancelled. Super basic phone.
 
Next summer he got a prepaid phone when he turned 8 which had MP3 and Camera and texting etc (same place for classes) he thought he was a super stud. Once the $ ran out, it was not renewed and it was promptly lost. We were PIZZED.
 
The next summer (9) we got a crappy prepaid because he lost the nice one. It worked fine.
 
About a month ago I found his good one at the office. I had to... um... apologize... cuz I doubt he actually lost it. I must have taken it away and forgot about it. Whoops. Now he has it back. But no $ on it until there is a NEED.
 
His little brother (7) has been carrying around and using my old phone for 2 years now. He loves it. It doesn't have a plan, so it cannot do anything, but it looks like it would. It has a camera and some features, nothing fancy. We'll probably get him a prepaid nice one with camera and mp3 next summer, they were pretty cheap.
 
So... I don't think they should have one "full time" until they can pay for it. Right now, they could. But they've opted not to. We'll probably change our mind as they get more independent, but not right now

Stitcher · Dec 5, 2010

My sister got my oldest niece a cell phone for when she was visiting her bio-dad in another city.
There was some tension that was growing when she'd want to call home, so sis just worked around that.
At first, she was only allowed to have the phone when she went on a visit.
Then, she was allowed to carry it more often.
No texting
No camera
No nothin' except phone minutes.
Actually, WE liked it, because she'd answer the phone when her mom wouldn't, so we could get message to the family!
 
THen, shen she wanted a phone that would text and be a camera and basic web stuff, she had to get it all on her own.
She can't afford talking minutes, so she doesn't have those any more.
She's in 9th grade and seems fine with it for now.
 
She's saving money for Mac Book at the moment.

zojmn151 · Dec 5, 2010

Sounds like I am one of the holdouts. ;p
 
My son is 14 and my daughter is 11 - neither will be getting a phone until they are old enough to drive and pay for the cost themselves. In all the places they go, they have access to a phone (school, camp, friend's house(s), etc)...they don't need one and I am not paying for the extra cost.
 
Both my kids started asking for a phone when they entered middle school, but understand that they won't get one for a while yet. They are both ok with it.

LeftRightRepeat · Dec 5, 2010

I must be someplace in the middle. Like Yoshiko, we both work and move around a bit. Both boys are in sports and other activities and we're often coordinating carpools and pickups at the last minute. Both my boys got phones for their 13th birthdays - on our AT&T Family Plan with shared minutes and unlimited text. Costs us $9.99 per line and another $9.99 for unlimited text for the whole family per month.
 
We got the phones mostly for OUR benefit so that they can easily call us when nearing school from an away athletic event or when after-school activities are complete or whatever.
 
We have curfews. Phones hit the kitchen counter at 9:30 PM and stay there on chargers overnight. We get to review text logs at our leisure based on the justification that it's OUR phone that we let them use.
 
Our oldest fully embraces the phone. 5-8000 texts per month. Our youngest has to be reminded to take his with him.
 
Don't expect them to answer the phone every time you call. The phones are often buried in a backpack or the kids are busy on the sports field or something We rely much more on text than voice.

TriBob · Dec 5, 2010

I caved two years ago for Christmas. They were 12 and 13. Adding texting phones to family plan was cheap $10/phone/month + familty texting. Now TriBoy is 15 and will be 16 in March he wants a new phone. All the HS kids have smartphones. But, it is not just the cost of the phone. It is $400/year for data. He doesn't go anywhere. So his ipod is fine for sitting in the basement. But, that is not teen logic. We told him has will have to pay for the data plan, but there are no jobs for him. We will have to wait and see.

4boysmom · Dec 5, 2010

Son1--18yo. He's had a tracfone for a while. We got it for him when he started doing solo long distance riding. Also, my mother insisted he have a phone so he could call us while he was on his 3-week bicycle tour. Nephew did it and called home every day. He rarely used it, never called us on his trip. When it got stolen out of our kitchen, we didn't replace it. Now, he's taking college classes. He can take the express bus in the morning, but in the afternoon he takes the local and I have to pick him up. We got him another tracfone so he could let me know what bus he was on and when to pick him up. He only calls me if he misses his regular bus. This is the last week of the quarter. He's called me once. 
 
The rest of the guys do not have phones. They don't need them. Yes, son2 and son3's friends all have them. That's nice. If you want your own phone, you can buy it yourself.

vtgirl · Dec 5, 2010

None of my DS's (9) friends have phones, but we allow ours to use a tracfone from time to time. I wouldn't hesitate to get him his own phone except for the added expense. Cell coverage is very weak where we live. My son gets to take our phone, and perhaps come christmas he will get his very own, when he's off on his own skiing with his ski pals, or in other situations like Yoshiko's where we need to be in touch.

slow_n_steady · Dec 5, 2010

All 3 of our kids have cell phones. The oldest two are teenagers and have the full unlimited texting thing going on. They text a ton, I don't care. When bedtime comes, the phones go off. They are very good at respecting that. In fact the 14 y.o. was having some self control issues keeping the phone in her room at night, so voluntarily started charging it at night in the hall outside her room. They were both 13 when they got their texting plans. Out 11 yr old has a phone but with a very limited plan. It is for "emergency" use only. Not real emergencies, but pretty much just for calling and getting calls from us.
 
When our oldest was 13, she got herself into a bit of a sticky situation that the emergency cell phone got her out of (used by all 3 kids at the time). That's when we decided to get her her own phone. We are a very busy family and always on the go it seems, and being able to be in instant contact with any of the kids is a real stress saver for us, especially the teenagers.
 
They are respectful with the phones, no using them during mealtimes, after bedtime, during other family times etc. Other than that, they are texting maniacs. Their plans are $20 a month. The teen girls each pay an extra $5 a month out of their own pockets to have call display. They do not have voice mail. If they decide they want voice mail, they will also have to pay for that themselves. As far as I'm concerned. $20 a month is well worth it for what it saves us in stress.

Yo Sake · Dec 5, 2010

Thanks for you inputs. I had a hard time falling asleep yesterday, keeping on thinking if we did do a right thing. 
 
LRR - I like the curfews. Immediately implemented.

neil donnelly · Dec 5, 2010

My eldest (now 12 ) got a phone when he started senior school in september as he is now getting the bus to school as opposed to us dropping him off and picking him up every day - He moaned for 2 years that lots of his friends had them but I didnt give in until he started using public transport
 
N

mrscoby78 · Dec 6, 2010

DS10 has one. He's home by himself for about an hour after school until I get home. Home phone was $25/mo. Cell phone added to mine and DH's family plan $10/mo. I just gave him my old phone when I got my blackberry.
 
It is used like a home phone. It doesn't leave the house. No texting, no web, etc....all blocked. He calls when he gets home from school. He has 1 or 2 friends who have phones that occasionally call in the evenings. But not after 8:00. So far, it has worked beautifully.

KitKat · Dec 6, 2010

I'm old skool, no cell phone for me even. My kids are too young but I suspect that once their activities warrant it from a safety standpoint we will.

Tri-Tammy · Dec 6, 2010

Both of my kids received cell phones as "graduation" presents from middle school. Like LRR- sports, activities, etc. made it a necessity.
We started with the basic phone and then added unlimited texting to the family plan for Christmas a couple of years back. 
I've been fortunate with both kids- they like their sleep. We trusted them to be smart about it and they didn't let us down. (yes, we checked the records)
When they want upgrades- they pay for it themselves.

ksurp · Dec 6, 2010

I have an iPhone, DH has a blackberry for work, DS12 has a texting style phone but no internet plan, DS9 has simpler phone all with family unlimited texting.
They are not big users and have not abused the privilege and it is more for our peace of mind. DS12 texts me quite often about what he is up to especially when he is at a friend's house or whatever. It is an unobtrusive way for him to keep us in the loop without having to call in front of his friends when there's an issue he is uncomfortable with. We are currently paying for everything but that will change as they get older. We frequently discuss what is appropriate vs inappropriate use and they both know that we can look at any of their phone content at any time.
 
Most of my students (9th-12th grade) have personal electronic devices and I'm trying to teach them how to use their devices to support their own learning and not just for social purposes. Students often text me questions about assignments and I've been able to embed texting into different types of activities which has been pretty cool. Electronic devices are here to stay and I try to teach kids how to properly use them instead of fighting against them.

4boysmom · Dec 6, 2010

ksurp--do you let them use them during class? I found it quite frustrating in son4's middle school home school co-op class. Most of the kids did have cell phones. The teacher gave a brief lesson then the kids were given a group project. They were far more interested in playing with their phones than the project. No, they are no supposed to even have them during class.

ksurp · Dec 6, 2010

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by 4boysmom <a href="/forum/thread/71494/ot-cell-phone-for-kids#post_1967573"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a> ksurp--do you let them use them during class? I found it quite frustrating in son4's middle school home school co-op class. Most of the kids did have cell phones. The teacher gave a brief lesson then the kids were given a group project. They were far more interested in playing with their phones than the project. No, they are no supposed to even have them during class.
</div>
</div>
 
It depends on what we are doing. When we have full class instruction, activities, presentations I specifically tell them that all devices need to be put away. When they are doing independent work they may use them to listen to music, etc. As long as their work is done well/on time and they aren't distracted or being distracting to others then I'm ok with use. It really depends on the situation and the student. Some of them use their cameras to photograph notes on the board for later reference, do research on their web enabled phones, etc During tests or other major assessments there is a total ban on devices. Our school attempted an outright ban 2 years ago and it was a complete failure because it only made the kids want to use them more - under desks, in the hallways, bathroom breaks etc. The staff spent huge amounts of time trying to be the phone/texting police and it didn't work. This year we said phones, etc are ok and at the discretion of individual teachers and it isn't a big deal. We still have issues with cyber-bullying and there are major consequences for that but we are also really working to educate students about appropriate use instead of just banning stuff.

OT: Cell phone for kids

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