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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';">Dearest Roommie</span></span><br><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';">Look at how clever you are! I applaud your creativity and your ability to think outside the box. I’m sorry your car got stuck on the ice patch that is called my lawn and I have listed a few other ideas that you may try next time you need to get some traction under your tires so you don’t have to use my sushi rice and my garlic infused gray sea salt.</span></span>
<ul><li><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size:medium;">Kitty litter, there is a 20 lb box in the laundry room</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size:medium;">Sand and gravel from the drive way</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size:medium;">Sand from the round pen, that’s where the horses go to play</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';">Wood chips in the big plastic bags sitting next to the barn door.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size:medium;">The box of uncle Ben’s rice</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size:medium;">The Morton’s table salt</span></span></li>
</ul><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size:medium;">The shovel is the stick thing with the yellow handle and the metal thing at the bottom you use it to scoop, it is sitting on the deck leaning on the tree.</span></span><br><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';">How ever if you really want to insure that you will not have this problem again you could always park on the driveway. You know it’s the ¼ mile long trail that leads right up to the house and is chock full of sand and gravel and rarely completely ices over. You may have to walk an extra 6 inches to a foot to get to the deck but you look rather athletic and I’m sure you have the ability to handle it. Once again using the jar of expensive sushi rice and gray sea salt was a creative idea to get some traction under your tires the problem could have been solved with just a little bit of sand.</span></span>
 

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Dear Person In Charge of Inventory,<br><br>
WOULD YOU HURRY UP ALREADY!<br><br>
Thank you! xoxox
 

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Dear Officemate who wearing stinky cologne:<br>
My nostrils and I have really enjoyed the past week that you've been gone. Any chance you'd like to extend your vacation? Or perhaps move to that new office they offered you - you know the one where you don't have to share space with three other people? Please?
 

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Dear Colleague,<br><br>
You should be aware that the acousitics in the office are such that I can hear everything that goes on in your office. And I do mean everything. I suspect you'd be much more discreet if you knew this.<br><br>
Love,<br>
Lelly
 

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Dear PRTers,<br><br>
I <heart> you all. Some more than others, but all nonetheless.<br><br>
Cheers and beers,<br><br>
Dylan
 

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Dear Wipaddler,<br>
If that had happened to me, the police would have had to have been called. Apparently you have way more patience than I will ever have. I hope one of these days you will be roommate free, because that roommate sounds sort of unbelieveable.
 

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Dear Lelly,<br><br>
What in the world is your colleague doing? My mind is running wild with possible scenarios.<br><br>
Signed,<br>
OakDawg
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Dearest betsmoe<br><br>
I honestly wish I could say I've made her up but I could never come up with these stories on my own. This is just one of a list unbelieveable things that she has done in the months she has lived with me. One of the more memorable ones is backing up towards the propane tank and having a branch puncture a hole in her muffler. Ok if you have an 800 gallon propane tank that is surrounded by snow, ice and downed branches I'm thinking that backing your car any where near the propane tank would cause a person to pause, take a step back and re-assess the situation. You have an infant in the car and if you were to accidentally slide your car into the tank there is a chance that the whole fvcking thing may explode.<br><br>
This is what I deal with in my daily life.<br><br>
Head scratchingly yours<br>
Wippy
 

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Dear PRT,<br><br>
I have been gone and I've missed you. Not all of you. But most of you.<br><br>
If someone could write up a quick open letter update, I'd appreciate it.<br><br>
Love and kisses,<br>
Lincoln<br><br>
PS to my cow-worker:<br><br>
I did not make the mistake that you are now in trouble for.<br>
It was your mistake.<br>
Do not take out your frustration on me.<br>
I'm trying to be nicer and you're making it pretty effing hard for me.<br><br>
Sorry,<br>
Lincoln
 

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Me thinks you all would like <a href="http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com" target="_blank"><span style="color:#008000;">www.passiveaggressivenotes.com</span></a>
 

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Dear DH and MIL,<br><br>
I'm sorry. I do not want to go to the kid's b-day party tomorrow. She's 3. All she cares about is getting a present. I'll be happy to send that over. I think that it's far more important to be at my great uncle's funeral out of respect for my grandfather. It isn't a slight against the kid. Yeah, I didn't do backflips when she was born. Get over it. Every thing I do is not a slight against the kid. Yeah, it's true I have trouble being at a kid's birthday party. I certainly am entitled to that, don't you think? Sometimes I need to protect myself too. I'm allowed to do that.<br><br>
Much Love,<br>
DC
 

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Dear dcoroner's DH and MIL,<br><br>
Everything I do IS a slight against your kid. You may now direct your pathetic wrath at me instead of her.<br><br>
Signed,<br>
$1000\hr OakDawg
 

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<img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif"><br><br>
Dear OakDawg,<br><br>
You. Rock.<br><br>
And you totally crack me up.<br><br>
Your Pal,<br>
dcoroner
 

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Dear 16 Year Old Daughter,<br><br>
You are enormously talented at putting together just the right outfit, from the perfect earrings, all the way down to the perfect pair of shoes. I am so proud of you when we are out and about. Just one small, itsy bitsy, teeny weeny request......<br><br>
FIND YOUR EFFING SHOES THE NIGHT BEFORE SO THAT I AM NOT LATE FOR WORK WHILE YOU RUN AROUND LIKE A BANSHEE WITH YOUR ASS ON FIRE SEARCHING EVERY ROOM OF THE HOUSE FOR <span style="text-decoration:underline;">THOSE</span> SPECIFIC SHOES!!!!!!!<br><br>
Love,<br><br>
Your Mother
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
<br>
Dear dcoroner<br><br>
I can only assume that the name of the planet is "IMASUPERPRIVILAGEDPERSONWHOHASNEVERHADTOLIFTAFING ERANDGETSEVERYTHINGIWANT."
 

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Dear Wippy,<br><br>
I see your roommate and my SIL are from the same planet. Maybe we could get a deal on sending them back. What do you think?<br><br>
Your pal,<br>
dcoroner
 
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