Open Letter

Gingerbread · Mar 26, 2008

Dear Unknown Coworker, 
Stop microwaving your popcorn until it burns. The smell is vile. 
Thank you for your attention to this matter. 
Sincerely, 
Your vomiting coworker

Tithers · Mar 26, 2008

Dear Dr. Crooker. 
Thank you for attending to my needs w/out an appointment. 
YAY! 
love, 
Tithers

wipaddler · Mar 26, 2008

ewww I always threaten ( loudishly) that I'm going to hunt down the person who makes the popcorn every day. Just the smell of microwaved popcorn makes my stomach turn.

muzicgrl · Mar 26, 2008

Dear wipaddler, 
Thats me. I <3 my 1 point snack. <img alt="cool.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/cool.gif"> 
Muzicgrl

wipaddler · Mar 26, 2008

Dear Guy who winked at me on Match.com 
I have never met some one on line before so hopefully your not a creepy fool. Even the thought of this on line dating thing scares me so please don't be an axe murderer. 
Luv and hugs 
a shaking in her boots, may as well be a hermit totally afraid of new situations and people. 
Wippy

wipaddler · Mar 26, 2008

Dear Muzak grrrrllll 
Do you like to see my face turn green and me scurry for the bathroom? <img alt="sad2.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/sad2.gif"> 
Why you no love me? 
Really microwaved popcorn makes me throw up 
Wippy 
PS. Wanna go to the Gilroy Garlic Festivle this summer? I may be coming out for it.

muzicgrl · Mar 26, 2008

Dear wipaddler, 
Very few are actually ax murderers. But dont get your hopes up over a wink...that generally just means they are too cheap to pay and actually contact you (not always so hopefully something pans out). E harmony is better than Match, by the way (in my practiced opinion). 
Signed, 
Unfortunate queen of internet dating

muzicgrl · Mar 26, 2008

<img alt="banana.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/banana.gif"><img alt="banana.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/banana.gif"> 
Garlic ice cream here I come! <img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif">

aphigirl01 · Mar 26, 2008

Dear gym crush, 
The gym at o'dark thirty is not nearly as appealing or fun when you are missing. Please come back soon. 
Your crushing pal, 
aphi 
PS - ask me out already!

wherestheportojohn · Mar 26, 2008

Dear Karen, 
Thanks for being brave enough to take me outside for a plod in BROAD DAYLIGHT this morning. <img alt="banana.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/banana.gif"> 
The weather was perfect, your pace was nice 'n' slow so as not to cause me undue distress. 
I repaid your kindness by only making you dash into the Kwiky Marts two times in 6 miles. 
Aren't you glad we went out? 
Fondly, 
Your Colon

jacqibay · Mar 26, 2008

Dear Dryer- 
Please don't act like you are smarter than me. If I need my clothes dried and I set you to dry them for 30 minutes, don't dry them for 15 and then beep for me to get them. I know they are not dry yet, dammit!! 
Thank you, 
mommy who needs clothes dried before baby wakes up

OakDawg · Mar 26, 2008

Dear ESPN, 
Thank you for broadcasting so much of the NCAA Wrestling. I appreciate you giving the sport the added exposure. However, why in the hell did you edit out the 133 pound match from your finals rebroadcast? In one of the most explosive and exciting moments of the night, Coleman Scott pinned his opponent :49 into the match to win the title. The match took 49 seconds! With intros and the celebration, maybe 3-4 minutes. The 184 and HWT match, which you broadcast in their entirety took over 20 minutes and featured much less action. Why would you take out the most exciting part of the night? 
Signed, 
Pissed off I don't have the fall on my Tivo.

mrscoby78 · Mar 26, 2008

Dear fly, 
Thank you for coming to visit, you have made me feel like spring is really here. However, you simply cannot fly through the window, nor can you turn around a fly through my blinds. Please fly in a downward direction and come safely out the bottom of the blinds, where you will see that the front door is open and waiting for you. 
Sincerely, 
Annoyed by your contant buzzing over the past 3 hours.

McTortle · Mar 26, 2008

Dear Stupid Cough, 
You can go now. Really. I will be fine without you. I promise to remember you. Go. Find someone else. 
Thank you, 
Mary

Horrible Peanut · Mar 26, 2008

Dear Midtown and Downtown apartments, 
I love both of you. You're both stunning, and have so much going for you. 
I can't decide between you, but know that after I make my final decision, which of you I chose- the other will always hold a special place for me in my heart. 
All my love 
-HP.

muzicgrl · Mar 26, 2008

Dear HP, 
Which one of us is located closer to the GF? 
Signed, 
Apartment choices

drgenie · Mar 26, 2008

Dear Wussy Puss: 
You are a free man today. You have served your cage time well-thank you for being cooperative for Mommy whilst taking your worm meds for two weeks. I promise you that being an indoor cat has many benefits and that you will eventually be very happy here. A cat tree is on its way for your enjoyment and should be here shortly. 
PS--yes, those boxes ARE staying under the bed. We don't want a repeat of last time you got sick. Grow a set and go check out the rest of the house, there are lots of other cool places to hide. Just watch out for your little brother. You know how he likes that "shock and awe" attack game. 
Love, 
Mommy

Horrible Peanut · Mar 26, 2008

Dear AC, 
Midtown- but I'm not factoring that into this decision. 
All the best 
-HP 
P.s. Love the Air Conditioning- you're one cool mother f**ker.

mrscoby78 · Mar 26, 2008

Dear HP, 
Post a poll with the pros and cons of each apartment choice and let us decide. 
Sincerely, 
Bored and Meddlesome.

Horrible Peanut · Mar 26, 2008

Dear B & M, 
You have as good ideas as you are beautiful <img alt="banana.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/banana.gif"> 
Love 
-HP 
P.s. I'll wait until I see the Midtown place tomorrow.

Open Letter

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