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Movie review: Skyline

339 views 0 replies 1 participant last post by  Plugging Along 
#1 ·
<p>Warning Spoilers,<br>
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So, anyway, the pretty blue lights fall on the sleeping city and they start to control the minds of anybody who looks at them and makes black spiderweby veins appear on their skin and makes their eyes glaze over and makes them walk towards the light until the light can get a hold of them and suck them in meanwhile the east coast hero and his girlfriend are sleeping in the highrise penthouse of his west coast friend until the noise and lights wake the girlfriend who gets up and vomits in the toilet which any EMT knows means she’s pregnant and then there is a scream from the other room which awakens the boyfriend who goes into the next room and looks into the pretty blue light coming into through the window and black spiderweby veins start to appear on him and we flash backwards 15 hours to get filled in on the setup.<br><br>
So, anyway, the east coast hero is a struggling artist and his best friend is a west coast movie big shot and the east coast hero is flying out to celebrate the west coast hero’s birthday and they meet the west coast hero’s wife or maybe girlfriend it’s hard to tell which and they also meet his assistant or maybe his maid it’s hard to tell which but it’s easy to tell the west coast hero is banging her and they also meet a few more characters most of which we don’t care about and then there is a party which is kinda loud and the building manager asks them to keep it down and then they use a telescope to spy into the next building and then most of the people leave and  everybody else falls asleep until the pretty blue lights fall from the sky.<br><br>
So, anyway, an actor working on the west coast hero’s movie who crashed on the couch for the night wakes up and opens the blinds and looks into the light gets black spiderweby veins growing on his skin and his eyes glaze over and he opens the window and gets sucked into the pretty blue lights which makes the assistant/maid scream which awakens the east coast hero who comes out and looks into the light and gets black spiderweby veins growing on his skin and his eyes glaze over which is where the flashback catches up with the first scenes and then he starts walking towards the pretty blue light until the west coast hero tackles him and the east coast hero returns to normal and the pretty blue lights go back up into the sky.<br><br>
So, anyway, there is a bunch of dialogue about what was that and what they should do and then bigger pretty blue lights fall from the sky except these have big alien spaceships hovering on top of them and they start vacuuming up all the people of the city and there is more dialogue about what our heroes should do and the women folk cower in the penthouse while the men folk take a gun and go up to the roof for a better look and then the tentacled flying probes from the Matrix show up and start looking for people to suck into their flower pods and the men folk decide to leave the rooftop except the door had closed behind them and the aliens are about to get them when one of the women folk open the door for them and they go back to the apartment for some more dialogue.<br><br>
So, anyway, the big alien ships keep on vacuuming up people and more and bigger alien probes and monsters start flying and walking around the city and our heroes stay hidden in the penthouse and more time passes and then they decide to make a break for the west coast hero’s yacht but just as the first car leaves the garage a big foot stomps on it and kills the assistant/maid and then a tentacle latches onto the west coast hero and sucks him into a pod and then a tentacled probe grabs another tenant they had met in the garage and is coming after them until the building manager crashes into it and they are able to get the slime covered tenant out of the ruined pod but then a tentacle latches onto the tenants head and pulls him into the air and splits open his skull and pulls out his glowing blue brain and spinal column and puts it into an alien brain case and then the tentacled probe comes back to life and starts coming after them but they get to the stairwell door and go back up to the penthouse for more dialogue.<br><br>
So, anyway, the big alien ships keep on vacuuming up people and more and bigger alien probes and monsters start flying and walking around the city and our remaining heroes stay hidden in the penthouse and more time passes and then the airforce shows up and most of them get shot down but one launches a nuke into a big alien ship and the explosion is big enough to crash the big alien ship but luckily not break the windows in the penthouse and then an army helicopter drops a sniper team on the roof of the building next door but they don’t quite have the firepower that they need because the alien probes and monsters seem to be able to heal themselves.<br><br>
So, anyway, the big alien ships keep on vacuuming up people and more and bigger alien probes and monsters start flying and walking around the city and our remaining heroes stay hidden in the penthouse and more time passes then they use the telescope and see that the nuked alien ship is repairing itself and the east coast hero wants to run to somewhere else but the building manager wants to stay there then the wife/girlfriend of the now dead west coast hero uses the telescope and look at the pretty blue light and gets black spiderweby veins growing on his skin and his eyes glaze over and she opens the window and gets sucked away by an alien probe.<br><br>
So, anyway, the big alien ships keep on vacuuming up people and more and bigger alien probes and monsters start flying and walking around the city and now that one of them has found the penthouse our heroes have a difference of opinion and the east coast hero wants to run to somewhere else and the building manager wants to stay there so the building manager stays there and turns on the gas and has one last cigarette and the east coast hero and his pregnant girlfriend run up to the roof and battle the alien monsters with an axe but get sucked up into the alien ship anyway but have one last kiss as they float up and they end up in a cave in the alien ship on a big pile of slimy human bodies which are being grabbed one by one and having their skulls split open and their glowing blue brains and spinal columns taken out and put in new alien probes and monsters which are then released upon the city except that the aliens find out the girlfriend is pregnant and put her into another cave and then the east coast hero has his brain and spinal column taken out and put in a monster but for some reason he fights the alien brain control and when he hears his girlfriend scream his human brain wins and he goes to his pregnant girlfriend and stands over her to protect her from the advancing alien probes and then the movie ends. WTF?<br><br>
What a mess. The special effect are pretty decent, but the dialogue is sub standard and the plot doesn‘t know where it wants to go and ends up going nowhere. Save your money and wait for this to come out on cable. On a scale of 1 to 10 I give it 3 stars, well below average.<br><br>
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