[sierra]

<p>After 32 years,  my husband I are are splitting up. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Its a mutual decision, though not easy one. Its friendly, which helps.  We are still in the midwest, but I am heading back west in early Feb. He is staying here for the time being. We arent divorcing yet. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>On many levels it seems silly to do this after so long together, but its something we need to do if either of us is to be happy again. But I have to admit, emotions have been running on high since we made the decision. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I told my family, all of the said 'I'm not surprised.'  That surprised me, a lot. But it was another sign that we were making the right decision.  My husband told our son, and he took it as well as could be expected. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, lots of packing, sorting and tossing is going on right now. Auctioning off the vast majority of our furniture and misc. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>This is not an easy road to walk down, even when you know its the right one. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I know I havent been here much in quite awhile, and for that I apologize. But I wanted to tell you what was going on. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>(and if you are a facebook friend, please dont mention this. Many people there dont know yet) </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carla </p>

 

[jcumming]

<p>More and more people who have been together for a long time are splitting up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You said that on many levels it seems silly after being together for so long, but in this day and age when you are likely to still have 40 or more years to live, it seems silly to stay together if you think there is a chance for a more fulfilling, happier life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Good luck</p>
<p>Be well</p>

 

[theia]

<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>sierra</strong> <a href="/t/75960/life-changes#post_2023255"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a>
<p> </p>
<p>This is not an easy road to walk down, even when you know its the right one. </p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
<p>You are exactly right.  Knowing it's the right thing doesn't make it (much) easier.  I'm sorry you're going through a painful time.  Sending you lots of love and strength!   There will be dark days, but please know that it will get better. </p>

 

[Grizzly]

<p>Oh Carla.  Not much to offer other than my thoughts and hope that you stay strong.  Courage!</p>

 

[jenna]

I'm sorry for the pain that you and your husband are going through right now, and for the pain it's likely brought to your son, but, at the same time I'm excited for you and the new life that lies ahead of you. Best of luck on the journey to come!<br><br>

 

[jebba]

<p>Carla, what a painful and exciting and difficult and important journey you are making.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You have our love and  support, of course.  My thoughts are with you and your family.</p>

 

[wherestheportojohn]

Carla,<br>
I'm glad that you're both able to move forward and carry on, as painful as this may be for all involved.<br>
Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share this with us.<br>
We're here for you when you need an invisible shoulder to lean on.<br>
Karen<br>

 

[sierra]

<p>Thank you so much for your kind, understanding and supportive comments.  I found myself, yet again, in tears as I read them. Tears seems to becoming a regular part of my day anymore. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>JC, you are right. No sense in being unhappy for another 40 years. (heck.. I'll be happy if I live another 40 years!! ) It basically got down to the simple fact that I wasnt sure I would be any happier single, but I knew I wouldnt be any unhappier. For me... that was reason enough to make a change. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Its exciting yet, terrifying  to be starting over again. But I know in the long run, it will better for both of us, and thats the important thing.  But geez.. getting from here to there is no small task.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh... one of the upsides in all this is that I am moving into a 'seniors' apt bldg! Hey.. its cheap and I am currently on UE, so that was important.  I knew getting old would have its perks!  </p>
<p> </p>
<p> Thank you again for your support. It means more then you know.  (Yeah for invisible friends!)</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>

 

[airehead]

<p>Good luck.  I don't know you, and I'm sorry to comment on something so personal, but I admire your courage to take such a big step.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I truly admire that courage.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I recently read that everyone's journey may be different, but the courage to begin is the same.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>

 

[satfix]

<p>Sierra - One day at a time. You'll be fine. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Good luck and let me know if you need anything</p>

 

[muzicgrl]

<p>Sorry to hear that. I hope it is as easy as possible for you both.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If you are headed to this part of CA let me know and if you ever need a place to stay just let us know. We may have a house with lots of extra space soon.</p>

 

[willrun4chocolate]

<p>Sorry to hear this. </p>

 

[merigayle]

<p>Sorry to hear it, but it seems like is was the next step in your journey. And those senior communities, atleast the ones here are nice! keep us posted and feel free to drop me a msg if you want to talk.</p>

 

[sierra]

<p>Thank you all. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Airhead, you may not know me....but I have read enough of your posts to almost feel like I know you. Thank you for your kind comment. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Many have mentioned courage.  I dont feel courageous. I feel terrified. 'One day at a time' is my only option here. And the unknown is becoming a more familiar feeling. I am starting to feel a bit excited about it all though. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Muzcgrl, thanks for the offer.  I will be in your neighborhood within a few days of getting back there to visit grandma.  Would love to see you again for lunch or something while I am there. (and I would love to see your new house!)  I'll be in touch. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>All your comments have meant so much to me. Thank you.  </p>