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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Aren't we missing this? A daily jokes thread?<br>
Just a disclaimer, I usually say sick morbid disturbing jokes. As in:<br><br>
A guys wakes up in am ambulance. "Nurse, where are we going???" "To the morgue" "But I'm not dead yet!!" "Well, we're not there yet".
 

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One I heard @ choir tonight:<br><br>
How do you keep an Auburn grad from voting for Obama?<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
Put a "G" in front of his name.
 

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Ugh. I'm sorry, but that was awful.<br><br>
And no, I don't have a better one. <img alt="cool.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/cool.gif">
 

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It’s a very dark, foggy night at sea. The skipper of the ship sees lights approaching ahead through the fog. He tells his Signalman to go up on the mast and send on the flashing light “You turn 10 degrees left.”<br><br>
Flashing light comes back through the fog. “You turn 10 degrees right.”<br><br>
The skipper tells his Signalman to go back up and send “You turn 10 degrees left. I’m a Captain.”<br><br>
Flashing light comes back through the fog. “You turn 10 degrees right. I’m a Seaman.”<br><br>
Now the Captain is pissed off! “No Seaman will give orders to a Captain.” He tells his Signalman to go up and send “You turn 10 degrees left. I’m a battleship.”<br><br>
Flashing light comes back through the fog. “You turn 10 degrees right. I’m a lighthouse.”<br><br>
Dan
 

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<br>
Yeah...I know it was awful.<br>
When half the room is populated w/ 'bama fans...the other half with Auburn. You get some AWFUL stories/jokes at times.
 

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Here's one for college football season:<br><br>
What's the difference between Rice Krispies and [insert any team that lost in a bowl game]?<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
When you put Rice Krispies in a bowl, they actually do something.
 

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A woman was out running in the forest one day when a frog called out to her and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn into a handsome prince."<br><br>
She bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in her pocket.<br><br>
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a handsome prince, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my heroine."<br><br>
The woman took the frog out of her pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to her pocket.<br><br>
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a handsome prince, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want."<br><br>
Again the woman took the frog out of her pocket, smiled at it, and put it back into her pocket.<br><br>
Finally the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a handsome prince that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"<br><br>
The woman replied, "Look, I'm a Triathlete. I don't have time for a boyfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
This was more Valentine themed:<br><br>
What do you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
You slow down a bit.
 

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What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
One of them is wanted
 
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