Italian joke.

Doctor Wu · Mar 16, 2008

Emailed to me by my step father: Italian Arithmetic 
An Italian workman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. 
"Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." 
"Withouta numbers?" the Italian says, "Datsa easy." and he proceeds to draw three trees. 
"What's this?" the boss asks. 
"Ave you gota no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine," says the Italian. 
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." 
The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree . "Ere you go." 
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" 
"Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99." 
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question. 
Same rules again, but represent the number 100." 
The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base 
of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred." 
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" 
(You're going to love this one!!!) 
The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, 
"A little doga come along and shita by eacha tree. So now you gota dirty tree and a turd, 
dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred. So, whenna I start?

witchypoo · Mar 16, 2008

as tomorrow is St. Pat's day, may i contribute an irish and italian joke? 
an irishman and an italian fellow are sitting in a car. who's driving?

Martin · Mar 16, 2008

Noone, they're both drinking?

witchypoo · Mar 16, 2008

the police

Martin · Mar 16, 2008

Ha ha!

Auntie Moe · Mar 16, 2008

I think I'm offended... <img alt="wink.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/wink.gif">

Tim · Mar 16, 2008

They're not called Paddy Wagons for nothing. <img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/smile.gif">

catrinka · Mar 17, 2008

Ha! I'ma gonna showa dis to my fader. He'll geta a laugh outta dis one.

Martin · Mar 17, 2008

So I asked my wife: Who drives when there are an Italian and an Irish in a car? 
Juliette overheard and she answered immediately: Chuck Norris!

techgoddess · Mar 17, 2008

I like Juliette!! <img alt="cool.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/cool.gif">

ElDuderino · Mar 17, 2008

Two boys are playing football in the Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. 
Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. 
A reporter who is strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. 
"Forty Niners fan saves friend from vicious animal", he starts writing in his notebook. 
"But I'm not a Niners fan," the boy replies. 
"Oakland Raiders fan rescues friend from horrific attack," says the reporter as he writes in his notebook. 
"I'm not a Raiders fan either," the boy says. 
"Then what are you?" the reporter asks. 
"I'm a Cowboys fan!" the boy says proudly. 
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "******* bastard kills family pet!"

Horrible Peanut · Mar 17, 2008

bap · Mar 17, 2008

I have a similar one An Irishman applied for a job on a construction site but the foreman wouldn't hire him until he passed a simple arithmetic test. 
Here is your first question,the foreman asked "Without using numbers,how would you represent the number 9"? 
"Without numbers?" the Irishman says "Dat is easy," and he proceeded to draw three trees. 
"Whats this?" the foreman asked. 
"'Ave you got no brain?" the Irishman asked."Tree and tree and tree make nine" said paddy. 
"Fair enough" said the foreman,"Here's your second question.Use the same rules but this time the number is 99" 
Paddy stared into space for a few seconds,then picked up the picture he'd just drawn and made a smudge on each tree."'Ere you go." he said. 
The foreman scratched his head and said,"How on earth do you get that to represent the number 99?" 
Paddy replied,"Each of da trees is dirty now.So it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree.Dat is 99" 
The foreman now began to worry that he'd maybe have to employ the Irishman,so he said,"Alright,last question.Same rules apply,but represent the number 100." 
Paddy stared into space once more,then he picked up the picture again and made a little brown mark at the base of each tree and said,"'Ere you g

ne hundred." 
The foreman looked at the attempt, and said "You must be nuts if you think this represents a hundred." 
Paddy leaned forward and pointed to the base of each tree and said,"A little dog came along and poohed by each tree.So now you've got dirty tree and a turd,dirty tree and a turd and dirty tree and a turd,which makes one hundred." 
"So, when do I start?" <img alt="" src="http://www.geocities.com/mathimoh/hahaha.jpg" style="border:0px solid;">

Italian joke.

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