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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A good friend of mine is a mother to an almost 2 year old little girl. Her husband has a very lucrative job, and she does too. She runs her own business, but it's the kind that is flexible enough that she can write her own schedule.<br><br>
Her nanny quit on Sunday, so...<br><br><br>
Instead of staying home, she's taking her kid to spend the day with people. Yesterday, she sent her daughter to another friend of mine's home...said friend has 3 boys. One is 8 months old. Today, she asked if she could drop her off with me. I have two of my own kids and am in the middle of packing up our house, arranging for movers, signing our lease, selling our house...and I have my own work too. And I can't say no. I know, that's my own problem...<br><br>
Anyway, if I were in her shoes, I'd take the week off while interviewing new nannies...I wouldn't send my kid to other people's houses all week long...<br><br>
Am I strange? I just wouldn't expect that from my friends. I'd drop them off for an hour or two to go to the dentist or whatever, and they do the same with me...but more often than not, I schedule appointments so that DH can come home instead.<br><br>
So...Wish me luck! I have 3 kids today!! I'm not even close to ready...
 

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Colby you're ordinarily a lovely person, but the boundary issues screaming out of this post are hard to ignore. You disapprove how she's coping and the decisions she's making yet you're willing to be an enabler?<br><br>
Okey-dokey.
 

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Wow....<br>
Yeah.....I'd be more likely to go to my friend's house to care for the kids if she was strapped rather than bring them to my non-kid safe house.<br><br>
That being said...It's awfully nice of her friends to do this.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I totally get that and it frustrates me, too.<br><br>
Part of my response to her is situational. We'll be gone in 3 months, and I'll likely not see her again. So, I kind of am not wanting to stir up a hornet's nest on something that will resolve on its own later. BUT, I do need to learn to say no, and that's been my life's lesson. Obviously, I'm still learning.<br><br>
If she asks for help tomorrow, it'll definitely be an opportunity for me.<br><br>
Anyway, I guess I'd just never ask that of anyone. And honestly, she caught me off guard when she asked...and how she asked. I'm good at being manipulated. That's the other life lesson...<br><br>
ETA: It's also hard when I think, "It's not MY life...who am I to tell her how to run her own life?" But still...
 

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She wasn't thinking about you; she was thinking about her own situation. Some people are like that. If I were you, I would have said no way.
 

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What's the big deal? Now you've got a sitter for your kids for a date night on Friday. Just let the lady know what time you'll be dropping them off.<br><br>
1 x 8 = 2 x 4.
 

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All good points Colby. I used to get mowed down a lot for childcare when I was home with small children. You go along with it, even on a bad day, because you know you'll need to swap sometime in the future but it can be tough to take a hard line when it goes too far.<br><br>
Otoh, I don't know the reasons this mom isn't staying home with them; maybe she had deadlines looming Mon-Wed and really couldn't leave people hanging.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
No, honestly...she really hates staying home. Words from her own mouth. She'd tell anyone that, and that's fine...that's her own deal. She doesn't have deadlines and she sets her own pace. AND she has people below her that can take over for her when she needs it. I'd really like to think I'm helping out someone who's really stuck...but honestly, she's not. Maybe in her OWN mind, she's stuck, though...<br><br>
I guess my line of thinking is not ever, "How can I get out of taking care of this?" but more along the lines of, "OK, how do I handle this and what comes next?" She's definitely a shirker of responsibility. She loves doing what she does, but her husband does all of the office work/paper work/paying bills/running her business/running their home/grocery shopping/diaper changing...and she just...doesn't.<br><br>
Anyway, I shouldn't speak poorly of her, but I'm kind of chaffing right now...
 

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Wow, doesn't like to stay home and puts people out so accommodate that, without pay. So that's a whole nother thing. I don't get that.<br><br>
You are correct to chafe and we are the correct chafees. <img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif">
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
<img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif"> Thanks for letting me chafe!!<br><br>
It's been a crazy day, but they're ALL asleep!! So, I'm going to get a cup of coffee and a slice of carrot cake with cream cheese frosting!! <img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif">
 
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