[mrscoby78]

I have a new manager....she started in January. We clash big time. Every comment that comes out of her mouth is snippy and condescending. I spoke to her about it before, asking if I was just taking her wrong or what. Her comment back to me was, "This is how I am and if people don't like it, that's just too bad."<br><br>
So this has been ongoing for a couple of months. This morning she snapped at me, and I snapped back. She called me in her office and said she didn't appreciate it. I said, "Then don't dish it if you can't take it." (where'd all this antag come from). She argued that she didn't get smart with me that I need to show her some respect. I told her that I expected some respect in return that I will not be treated and spoken to that way. She calls our DM. Gives her this BS about how I just smarted off to her out of the blue. <img alt="roll_eyes.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/roll_eyes.gif"> DM didn't even hear what I had to say. Then threatened to fire me if I didn't straighten up. I told DM the same thing, I'm not going to be treated the way I've been treated since new manager took over.<br><br>
We hung up. Manager asked me if the problem was over, if we could get along. I said I don't know. She gave me this whole speech about teamwork and crap. When she was done, I said, "Can I go now?"<br><br>
I probably didn't do the right thing. Comments. Go ahead, flame me if you'd like.

 

[Lintu]

Well I guess it's not the "right thing" but it's what I would have done. I don't put up with that very well.<br><br>
I think the "right thing" would have been to go to the next level person about the attitude your manager has and how condescending and demotivating it is. But I don't really know---I've been lucky in that regard.

 

[refinnej10]

Did you give the DM your version of events?<br><br>
It might be fun to be over the top, obviously fake, super sugary sweet to your manager all the time. It'll drive her nuts. You could every conversation with, "It was a real and true blessing to have spoken to you!" Or something similary corny.

 

[sophielarue]

I think that there is a certain level of mutual respect expected in the work place. I think you're right for having addressed this issue with your manager. How much do you need this job? Would it be difficult to find another one?

 

[razzzzzz]

Killer her with kindness.*<br><br><br><br><br>
*Easier said than done.

 

[Martin]

What's a DM?

 

[Horrible Peanut]

I'd say you should find another job. If you're not fitting into the culture there- find a place where you are- you'll be happier- your current office will be happier- your new office will be happier. It's win all around <img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/smile.gif">

 

[Horrible Peanut]

District manager I'd imagine. Or Director Manager.

 

[merigayle]

<img alt="sad.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/sad.gif"><br><br>
You may not have handled it perfectly, but seriously, with the conditions you describe, most people would have reacted the same way, or worse. Is there any way to talk to the DM? I'd look for a new job. That is not an environment you want to be in every day.

 

[mrscoby78]

District Manager<br><br>
Do I need this job? Yes and no. I'm in the process of getting back to school to finish my teaching degree, which, going nites, will take 2 years. Do I want to start a new job knowing I'll be leaving in 2years or less? Not really. Also is the fact the both my manager and DM know I don't like my position and am trying to find another within this company. They are using it against me....every time I turn around, it's "I know you don't like your job but..." Which is what I got this morning, "I know you don't like your job, but you need to do what I say."<br><br>
refinnej, I tried to tell DM what happened. She didn't listen, cut me off, and went with the "be nice or your fired." For whatever reason, DM thinks the sun shines out M's ass.<br><br>
Oh, and DM also asked if I would resign and I said no.<br><br>
Could I find another bank job? Probably so. But then I don't want to give them the satisfaction either. I'm stubborn that way.

 

[merigayle]

how long would school take if you went full time? might be worth tightening the belts to do.

 

[mrscoby78]

Belt is already pretty tight. I have a meeting with an advisor tomorrow nite. Maybe I can work extra hard I do it one semester short or something. We'll see.

 

[Horrible Peanut]

1) Two Years is a long time for one job. Don't shy away because you think it won't be long enough.<br><br>
2) Mrs. Coby- I don't mean to sound snide but this probably isn't the best approach. You're not there for your own benefit- you're there in order to fulfill a return on investment for your company. If you have no further value to add- move on. It sounds like you don't have a lot of value to add to the company because you've lost all buy in.<br><br>
Move on to an organization you appreciate more. You owe it to yourself.

 

["Roberto"]

I agree with teh horrible one.

 

[Litchfield Hills]

Summarize the situation <b>IN WRITING</b> - keep track of any situations that occur, how they happened, what the follow up was, etc. If it is your word agains your supervisor's, you will lose. If you can show a pattern of poor management, and lack of respect from your manager, then you are in a much better situation. If there is no record of the history here, they can fire with cause.<br><br>
Basically, cover your ass.

 

[mrscoby78]

You're right HP, (and Mort). I should've added a <img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif"> or a <img alt="wink.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/wink.gif"> or something there. Though I don't want to give them the satisfaction, it's not worth this. Fo sho.<br><br>
I'm still waiting for someone to tell me a being an unreasonable bitch! Who are you peole anyway? Is this PRT or what?

 

[McTortle]

It's like family.<br><br>
It's okay for US to be condescending, mean and petty to you, but not for someone NOT US to do it.<br><br><img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif">

 

[Horrible Peanut]

We love you, you unreasonable bitch <img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/smile.gif">

 

[lelly]

I'm not going to say you're being an unreasonable bitch, but I don't think you should be rude simply because someone else (your boss or you DM) is being rude to you. I would suggest that you have a conversation with your boss about how you two can best work together and get past your differences. And that may mean sucking it up sometimes. If you're not willing to do that, then you should probably leave before you get fired. Getting fired will be burning that bridge, and I don't think that's ever a wise choice to me.

 

[runrchk]

If you aren't happy then move on. There is nothing worse than going to a job that you don't like or is stressful. Two years isn't too short a time. I usually get bored with my job after two years and move on. I have been at this job now for over three years and I still love it. It doesn't sound like you will have a difficult time finding another job. There is nothing worse than working for a boss you don't like or click with. They can make your life miserable. As you have found out. I can understand the feeling of not letting them win but if your happiness suffers by letting them win it is not worth it.