<p>The 10k has ended. I have been trying to gather my thoughts on the ride home for my race recap. I saw an old friend and talked with him before the start. His goal time was a bit ahead of me but close enough that I thought about trying to just keep in within sight as my own mini pacer. heh. There were other guys from church that I saw and had a good visit before time.</p>
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<p>Well we line up for the start and they have moved the starting line to the top of the super steep hill. The last time I ran the start was about a tenth of a mile further back on flat ground. I made a critical mistake right off the bat that destroyed my race. Now the first mile is a massive downhill, turn, up and down a mini hill. I started about 10 feet behind my two buddies and stayed with them for half of that first mile. When we hit the first marker I looked at my garmin and it beeped at me and said 9:53. I knew right then and there I was screwed. I had run the first mile way too fast. The second mile is near opposite of the first. You go around a few curves then up a massive sloping hill. I my heart rate was really high as I started up that hill and I was gasping for air. It was then that this race actually became a mental 6.2 miler. Physically I lost the 6.2 miler. Mentally maybe not. About 2/3 up that massive hill I said to myself "you have got to walk to the top or you will not finish this race". There was no third option. So I did something that I said I never wanted to do......walk. I didn't stop but I power walked up that hill. When the hill topped off I started huffing it again. At the two mile marker I was at 23 minutes and change. </p>
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<p>I honestly had the hardest mile between 2 and 3. It was hot, my chest was racing, I was gasping for air and was almost dead last. Even though not a soul on the Earth gives a crap about where I finish in an insignificant local race, the fact that I might actually be the last person to cross the line only added to my mental anguish. To make matters worse two guys were walking down the sidewalk and one yelled to me "come on let's go, you're dead last". My knee jerk response in my head was "bastard! At least I'm out here participating". That didn't help the mental anguish I was struggling with I tell ya. I slowed to walk through the mile 3 water station and drank a cup. </p>
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<p>It was around mile four that I shut out everything and decided that I needed to get my breathing back into a steady rhythm just like when I train at the park. Next I told myself to relax and get into the same running rhythm as I have at the park. There are a few nasty hills before mile 4. I nearly made it but again I walked the last bit of the hill. I think the girl called out 52 minutes to me at mile 4. By that time I honestly didn't care what the garmin said. I had to remind myself that I was less than 2 miles from the end and I could not stop now.</p>
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<p>Around mile 5 we are back in the middle of the town square and the girl with the stopwatch called out 1:06:00. Great I thought. 3 minutes worse than my other 10k finish time. But I quickly batted that thought away as I knew the time would be horrific. Oddly enough between about 5.5 and the end I felt for the first time all race, in my normal training pace, rhythm and breathing pattern. Ironically the last third of a mile was my best since mile 1 as far as the things I just stated. My final time was like 1:23:00 and change. </p>
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<p>I beat myself up mentally for most of the race after mile 1. I knew the day was wasted as far as me doing my best. Had I not worried about my buddies and wanting to try to stay somewhat close to them I would not have expended myself in mile 1 and 2. Doing the math, if I had monitored my Garmin and set a goal of a steady 12 minute pace even I would have only taken 1:14:00. But today's race wasn't a total loss. Nobody knows what tomorrow brings but if I can participate in future races I must have mental and physical discipline. I've got to know my limits, stick to them, have a pace plan (that is safe) and be a steady runner who finishes strong. As I drove home I had to try to not beat myself up anymore. I'm still super green at all this stuff. I cannot get too excited or caught up in the atmosphere. Nobody cares what I do. I should not worry about that! I need to focus on me. Stick to the plan. Stick to my training pace. Set and goal and safely try to accomplish it. I can't worry about buddies who are shooting for 45 minute or sub 1 hour 10k times. Good for them. Cheer them on. Wish them the best. That doesn't concern me. Their goals don't suddenly drop in my lap 5 minutes before the race begins. I can't do what they do (right now). I made some foolish mistakes at the beginning and let my pride get the best of me. Ironic that had I stayed behind the pack at a 12 minute pace that I would have finished 9 minutes sooner. Amazing. Yet I had to run with the bulls and I got trampled instead (if you follow the metaphor).</p>
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<p>I don't want this to sound negative and I'm not fishing for pats on the back. I'm trying to be honest with myself, give a hard examination of my mistakes and move forward in a positive way. I messed up. I admit it. I also learned that there are no do overs. You screw up something you will pay for it immediately. They say if you don't learn from your mistakes you are doomed to repeat them. </p>
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<p>So the day wasn't a total loss. I did not stop. I did not quit. I finished. I ran across the line. I learned tremendous lessons that I hope will keep me from having other embarrassing times in the future. I'm also more motivated than ever to lose weight. I'm 15 pounds heavier than in 2008 when I ran a 1:03:00. I've got to take my eating and fitness serious. Half efforts = failure.</p>
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<p>Thank you for the well wishes. I will leave you with one chuckle. Around mile 6 when the girl called out the time I said to myself "gee this will be an easy time to crush next time". LOL</p>
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<p>Best wishes to other racers today and this weekend. I stink and need a shower and a nap. bye! <span><img alt="wave.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/wave.gif"></span></p>
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