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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
... with apologies to Rodgers & Hammerstein.<br><br><b>Male Submasters - 24/101<br>
Average Stop Whining Crybabies' pace 7:27<br></b><br><img alt="" src="http://www3.telus.net/browmon/H2CCrybaby.jpg" style="border:0px solid;"><br><br>
After a morning ferry ride across the Strait of Juan de Fuca and Puget Sound, I arrived in Seattle and greeted Captain <b>Soundrunner</b> with a firm handshake. After all, we were part of <b>Team Stop Whining Crybabies</b> competing in the Male Submasters division at the H2C Relay. From here on in, it's "Biff Souci" to yooz.<br><br>
First order of business was meeting with another gender-confused team member, Laura -- er, "Lorne," to buy some filler for our van (Halen). I knew before I had arrived I would get on like a house on fire with "Lorne" from her -- er, <i>his</i> hilarious tone in the group email in circulation.<br><br>
We cackled like girly men at the 100-inch waistline <a href="http://www.geocities.com/BourbonStreet/3826/words.html" target="_blank">gonch</a> at Archie's. Although not at all baby-like, they <i>were</i> manly, so we bought them along with our Smokin' Baby dash ornament, tattoos, et cetera.<br><br><img alt="" src="http://www3.telus.net/browmon/H2CSmokin%27Crybaby.jpg" style="border:0px solid;"><br><br>
I spent a lovely evening at the Sound house, talking "man stuff" with Mr. SR and SoundSon while <b>Soundrunner</b> caught some beauty rest -- er, burly Z's.<br><br>
Met up with our van driver Vicky "Vandretti" and Leg 1 runner Don at "Lorne's" abode. No gender confusion with Vicky: a real "mom" who looked after all of us, drove with precision, meted out discipline when required, was always there to greet us upon completion of our leg ... I could go on. Don, a fellow Canuck, was a great help navigating (among other things), along with his duty as our lead-off runner.<br><br>
We picked up <b>mc</b> at his airport hotel. I gave him a good friendly closed "Guysie" fist shot to the arm. He grabbed the tattoos and slapped a football helmet on my shoulder. I chose "Charge" for his calf. (This is what guys do, I guess <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Confused"> .)<br><br>
Now in Portland, Aaron and <b>Johnny</b> jumped in the van. Another firm handshake and guyish grunt "hiya" to Aaron. I had not seen John since the marathon last year, and I was so surprised by his svelteness and fashionable garb that I threw my arms around him and planted a big kiss on his cheek. As I am now comfortable in my newfound masculinity (and John's about the coolest guy around), this seemed to cause little fanfare with the "fellas." Besides, I swear I left him suffering with stubble burn.<br><br>
You've heard most of the details from John and mc, so I'll quickly run through a few highlights.<br><br>
I really got caught up in John's enthusiasm for his first relay. John had mentioned concern about slowing the team down (it certainly wasn't coming from the team); he ran so fast and so well. And he is hands-down the most stylish of dudes. Fashion does count with men; no?<br><br><img alt="" src="http://www3.telus.net/browmon/H2C%20Johnny-mc.jpg" style="border:0px solid;"><br><br>
As "SS," I had been so looking forward to receiving mc's "pass," but in my new "Metrosexual" role, I had to forget the open-arm-hug baton/band switch and just thrust out my brutish wrist so he could slap the #)($*# thing on. It seemed Oh.So.Wrong to accept a pass from mc, turn tail, and R-U-N. (The things a guy will do for the team.)<br><br>
As the last runner in our van, having seen all my teammates give it their all, I was so stoked by the time it was my turn.<br><br><span style="color:#0000FF;">Leg 6 - 7.42 "Hard" - 7:07/mile</span><br><br>
(Passed by a dude in a black speedo and straw cowboy hat. Almost caught him on a hill but then he speedoed away. Real men don't chase men in speedos, I'm sure. Grrrr!)<br><br>
As I had hoped, my dearest <b>LabDuck</b> was right there when I finished! I was a bit featherbrained when he first approached, but quickly -- aha, it's Labduck!!!! -- and I almost bowled him over with a hug (sorry about the sweatiness, LD). What a great way to finish my very first leg of the H2C!<br><br><span style="color:#0000FF;">Leg 18 - 4.15 "Hard" - 7:33/mile</span> (insomnia zombie)<br>
Upon finishing, I was stood up by Van 2 and had to wait for 15 minutes. I counted on my testosterone reserves to not let it get to me. Hmm. Worked.<br><br><span style="color:#0000FF;">Leg 30 - 5.35 "Moderate" - 7:10/mile</span> (still no ZZZZZs)<br><br>
(Passed by speedo dude again! Arghhhhhh!)<br><br>
Simply building base over the last few months left me to wonder just how I'd run. Fun was the priority; however, relays do tend to rope you in to giving it some effort. I felt great on the first leg.<br><br>
It was fun to watch the speedy guys prepare. They were often quite quiet, and I witnessed some self-talk going on. I think I need to learn how to focus.<br><br>
How serendipitous to run into <b>Econo</b> and organize our slumber party! If only we had been able to connect with <b>glidegal</b>. Bummer! We'll meet in Portland for sure, gg.<br><br><b>Soundie</b> was so much fun and so encouraging (yeah ... er, especially when wielding a mallet). We all know what a drag it is to be injured, especially for such a fun event. It wouldn't have been the same without you, fren.<br><br>
How fun it was to talk to <b>Skip</b> and <b>Spareribs</b> for the first time too! Skip, I thought of you on the ferry when I saw a big ol' submarine in Puget Sound. Ribs, it was difficult to hear you while we were lining up for our post-race pig-out. I hope you rehab soon and will be in the van next year.<br><br>
Can't wait to meet up again with Laura for girl surfer school in Tofino.<br><br>
Seaside was beautiful. It was a grand idea to run the beach early Sunday morning. I felt surprisingly well-recovered going out the door; the old guy I was with was creaking and crackling a bit. Running the beach barefoot made everything feel that much better; watching the sun rise over the hills and pigging out on blackberries isn't a bad way to finish off a braw weekend.<br><br>
It was a blast. I hope I'm invited back -- as a man, woman ... no matter.<br><br><img alt="" src="http://www3.telus.net/browmon/H2CHood.jpg" style="border:0px solid;">
 

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Great post there "Biff", I'm laughing my ass off. I'd been looking forward to seeing you again for the longest time and really enjoyed the "manly hug & kiss". (I'm secure, as I'm not a US senator from Idaho <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Very Happy"> ). What a trip this entire weekend was, running, companionship, minimal hygiene, slumber party, I still get excited just thinking about it. I can't wait for next year, but wait, Portland in 5 weeks,.... see you soon.<br><br>
Johnny<br><br>
BTW- You're way girly enough for me
 

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SS, you are <i>The Man.</i> I mean, you are my <i><span>Soul Sistah</span></i>!<br><br>
I'm thrilled to have experienced '07 HTC and can't wait to get faster so I can make another team proud next year. You, my dear, were a veritable HTC Diva! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/notworthy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="notworthy"><br><br>
Please come back to Oregon soon...uh, like, October 7th! Yayyyyy! Sorry I couldn't accompany you kids up to Seattle in your van afterwards, but John & I had a grand time with your witty & handsome (well, <i>I</i> thought they were handsome) teammates. When they startled hassling me for saying somethings stupid, I knew it would be a fun trip. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Very Happy">
 

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Thanks for giving us your spin on a fun event. Speedo dude wasn't wearing crocs, was he? Nice running... you sure do well on little to no sleep and with all those male distractions...
 

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hey, i don't think you're so tough, mr tough guy.<br><br>
actually, thanks for being a guy. i can't imagine the pressure that would have existed in the van if you were actually yourself, glistening with sweat and enveloping your van-mates in your sensual and titillating atmosphere of womanhood. now that would have been torture.<br><br>
oh and nice running. you were unanimously voted the most awesome running style by van 1.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Smile"> Fabulous! Man, Woman, Both, whatever, you totally rock at all times! Thanks for the great report, and great photos!
 

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What a great report to read SS!!! I am so envious at your weekend and all the fun you had . . the folks you got to see, etc.<br><br>
hey - did you make a Pink Door appearance on your way back through Seattle? Maybe I missed something about that.
 

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Great job SS. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Smile">
 

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You always have such fun wherever you go. I'm always jealous of the energy you bring to life.<br><br>
But SoundSonSansSouci? I'm soo confused! Gender issues are old news, but the proliferation of Esses? Rough going for a poor mentally challenged hippo.
 

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This report was a tremendously fun read!<br><br>
Wow. You are frighteningly good at being a guy.<br><br>
You really came through for your team, in spite of Speedos and no sleep. Great racing, gender-bending psycho killer bunny!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Nuthin' like following up in a timely fashion ...<br><br>
Thanks, all. Still savouring the memories.<br><br>
Hippo!!!! Will you be anywhere near Portland for the marathon? I'll give you Cole's Notes version Energy 101. Pink Wig version may cost ya a beer.<br><br>
Oh, and would you please let the Oldsters -- em, Masters know when you've posted an RR? I'm outta the loop on your mega monster miles. If you have any recent races you'd care to share, please ... lemme know.
 

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I'm glad I'm not a real man, because there is no way I could keep up with you.<br><br>
There is a rumor that I'll be wearing a slutty running skirt and sexy underwear when I go to Arizona to run next month. Maybe this will result in some sort of Cosmic Karmic balancing of the scales with you.
 
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