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Got any? Here's one:<br><br>
At masters swim last week I was the only attendee. In fact, I was the only person in the pool until two young bikini-clad ladies hopped in and started thrashing across the pool. You know the technique - crawl stroke, but without the face ever going in the water. Anyway, I was checking out their...uh...form, when one asked me if I'm a professional swimmer. Well that set me back a bit, but I stammered out a quick "no, just an amateur triathlete."<br><br>
"You mean like that Ironman thing?"<br><br>
I mumbled the typical IronVirgin response of "KindaExceptShorterButYeahSameIdea."<br><br>
At this point the instructor decided I'd had enough 'rest' and came over to see if the ladies would like to borrow a kickboard. To which the gal in the black bikini with rhinestone edging replied "No thanks, we're here for a workout tonight."
 

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HA! That is fantastic. I remember at one of my tris last summer that was a girl in a string bikini that was...racing. Fortunately she was in the relay b/c I would hate to think about biking and running in that.
 

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I do my swims at LA Fitness. The pool is 4 feet at it's deepest point and made for aerobics, and because of this the pool almost always has someone walking laps. One day I went in and a guy was walking in the center lane. (The pool is 3 lanes.) Swimming is always easiest and smoothest in the center lane so I asked him if he would mind moving over to the outside lane to walk. He looked at me like I was insane and just walked on.<br><br>
I jumped in the pool and started swimming my laps on the far outside lane. At some point he got out of the pool and jumped into the hot tub. I saw him there and moved over to the center lane. He couldn't possibly think that he can "hold" the lane while he sits in the hot tub, can he? he did! <img alt="sad.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/sad.gif"><br><br>
I'm swimming and not expecting this guy to be in the lane. I reach the pool end and start my flip. BAMM! My heal caught him dead on the top of the head. I htought I hit the wall and stopped. I turned around to see him standing there holding his head and looking at me.<br><br>
He attempted to say something, I gave him the talk to the hand and swam off. Now he walks on the inside lane. We don't speak. <img alt="sad.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/sad.gif"><br><br>
CS
 

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I was once doing a swim in a very crowded pool. There were about 5-6 people in each lane. In my lane there were these two highschool kids, on the highschool team (you could tell by their caps) and they spent almost the entire hour making out in the corner of the lane. Now I am all in favor of puppy love but it really just allowed for one person to rest at a time because their makeout session took up a large chunck of our wall.
 

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My buddy and I were at an open-swim session at our university, trying to get ourselves up to swimming 500m at once. We were in the medium lane, when three VERY attractive young ladies in quite tiny bikinis started swimming in front of us. We knew then and there that we had to join Masters swimming because we got all upset about them ruining our workout, and only after leaving the pool in a bad mood did we also realize that they were pretty hot. Not a normal reaction for two twenty-something guys!<br><br>
Bradley
 

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we had the cops come in "because of the disturbance in the pool". No one knew what he was talking about.<br>
Turns out daily complainer lady had called the cops because one of "those foreign boys" was splashing her when he kicked. Can you imagine.?<br><br>
Bradley that's sad! Your man's license should be revoked. We do not wear tiny bikini's to be ignored in favor of split times
 

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I envy you guys who can check out the hot girls at the pool. I wear glasses, but I have to take them off at the pool (or during the tri swim)... and combine that with the blurriness from the wet goggles and I really can't tell between the 60 year old lady ready for her water aerobics and a 20 year hottie in tiny bikini, unless she comes really close, and then my stare would look creepy.
 

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This is a very old pool story that probably isn't that funny anymore but I still think of it as one of my better "races".<br><br>
I was a competitive swimmer in my youth and in college. Never a record breaker, but held my own. So, I'm at a party (ie. drinking involved) in college on a typical spring Saturday night and get into a conversation with a friend's midshipman boyfriend about swimming. He (big jock and ego to match) challenged me to a 50 yd race and being the competitor that I am, I said "sure! when?" He said "now" and off we went to the very closed and locked up outdoor pool. Climbed the fence, stripped down to underwear, dove in, swam up and back, jumped out, put clothes back on, climbed the fence and returned to the party. Friends asked where we'd been and if we had jumped the fence for a swim (against every rule you can imagine!) to which I rep(LIED), "no, why?" as I stood there soaking wet.<br><br>
What an idiot I was in my younger years. <img alt="icon_salut.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/icon_salut.gif"><br><br>
P.S. I beat him. Oh yeah, I got in big time trouble too.
 

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Prescription goggles from speedo cost around $20, you just have to order them on line, however they are not exact for your eyes. They come in whole numbers and they are the same for both eyes. My eyes are -2.5 and -4, so I went with the -3 and I can see quite well with them.<br><br><br>
My story is that I used to spend a whole lot of time at the pool swimming next to a particular girl and always spoke with her. One time she and her husband where in the lobby of the fitness center, I went by without saying hello but she said Hi to me, So I looked back and said, "Hey, sorry I didn't say Hi, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on".<br><br>
Jon
 

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I had the old ladies in the Sunday morning aerobics class get mad at me. I was splashing them and they were getting wet. Uh, pool = water??? I guess the water coming off my arm during recovery was getting them.
 

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Really? That's cool, I'm gonna check them out. Was it OK buying goggles without trying them on first? And don't think I'm some weirdo and have to check the girls out at the pool... But it would be nice to be able to see where is the last buoy, instead of hoping the next one is the last.
 

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You can also get contacts.<br>
I got them, just for swimming....and now wear them when I run, too. It's amazing how much more confident you can be about your foot placement when you can SEE!<br><br>
My glasses are MUCH better for everyday seeing since the contacts don't fully correct my astigmatism. But, it was getting to the point where I couldn't see the pace clock nor my watch, so I didn't know when to "go" for my next rep or set. THAT'S bad. Thing is, since I only wear them for working out, the contacts last long long long time.......1 pair for several months as long as I don't lose them.
 

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I worked at an NYSP (National Youth Sports Program) camp for a couple of summers when I started teaching. Great extra money in the summer and fun to boot.<br><br>
The other master counselor and I for the pool had 500 kids every two days for lessons....with other counselors giving small group lessons. They did the shallow end stuff, and we did the deep water stuff.<br><br>
Anyway....about 2 weeks into the summer, they would open up the camp to kids on the waiting list when they knew who the no shows were. So, we'd get kids who hadn't had the first week swim test yet.<br><br>
We had so many kids, it was apretty down and dirty test:<br>
Do you know how to swim?<br>
If yes,<br>
Can you swim in deep water?<br>
If yes,<br>
Jump off the diving board and swim to the ladder<br>
If no,,<br>
Show me in the shallow end how you swim<br><br>
If no to the first question...."get thee to the shallow end lessons" They could generally place themselves based on the skills that were being taught.<br><br><br>
So, this one day...a very tall 15 yr old girl joined the group, and we went through our queestions.....<br>
She was sent tot he diving board to jump and swim.<br>
I was over on the other side of the deep end doing treading water and bobs.....<br>
when *SPLASH* I hear.......then kid noises of concern.<br>
I look over and the other master counselor is climbing out of the water...fully clothed, including her shoes.<br><br>
I toss all my kids on the wall and go over there to see what happened.<br><br>
Apparently, this girl jumped in after hesitating just a bit.....and sank like a stone!<br>
She was pulled up and out with no harm done.<br>
She was sitting there on the deck, feet dangling in the water.....just shaking her head in disbelief.<br>
We asked her what happened....did you get the breath knocked out of you? Did you get confused?<br>
Her answer:<br>
"Well.......I thought I could swim."<br>
us: :O<br><br>
The other master counselor looked at her as she was wringing out her shirt (she didn't dress that day because she wasn't feeling well).....<br>
"Baby....that ain't swimmming. Get yourself back to the other end of the pool!"<br><br>
Cool thing was....<br>
That girl really did THINK she could swim. She saw everyone else doing it and just figured it wouldn't be that hard. By the end of the summer, she was so motivated and interested that she WAS swimming, and in the deep end, too.<br><br>
But, for the rest of the summer, whenever someone would do soemthing boneheaded but not injurious....the comment would be, "Baby that ain't (*fill in the blank*)! <-- comment frequently said to me while learning doubles raquetball.
 

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This isn't really that funny, but it sure caught me by surprise. Last week I was bashing out my laps when I suddenly felt a looseness around the chest area. The strap to my suit broke so the whole front filled with water. I had one of my bewbs floating around. I don't think anyone noticed so I just tied it up and finished my swim. <img alt="blush.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/blush.gif">
 

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<br>
It's hard to do flip turns in less than 4 feet of water, especially if you're at all tall. I notice a big difference in how mine feel when I am at the university super awesome deep and cold pool vs. my regular gym pool that's a consistent 4.5 feet deep. Much better glide in deeper water for some reason.
 

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CS...ummmm...lol...SNORT!<br><br>
All my stories either have to do with men asking me for swim lessons at LA FITNESS (that's why I quit that gym)...or foreign men in speedos at my current gym swimming through and around my lane (no lane dividers).<br><br>
No good stories here.
 

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This and Melistic's account of someone calling the police b/c she was getting wet... um... in a pool! Hello?... I hear stories like this, and I think what's up here? I'd think "no way people are complaining about being splashed in a pool"...<br><br>
Except .... I would see a couple of women when I used to do more pool running than I do now who would bob along in aqua vests chitchatting and barely expending effort, their hair perfectly coiffed, make-up on, even perfume... In fairness to them I don't recall them complaining about being splashed, maybe b/c the pool running/walking lane was adjoined by a slow swimmer lane, with faster swimmers a safe distance from splashing them... but I'd look in wonder at them: were they heading for a party after their workout?<br><br>
Yet I think women of their generation probably didn't get much or any encouragement to push themselves physically in sports. It was "sit still and look pretty and don't get wet or dirty." So maybe now their doctors are telling them they need to exercise, but they are still listening to the old tapes in their head.<br><br>
In my generation, we all kind of rebelled, wore torn jeans and listened to rock and thought such old-time codes irrelevant, so even though there weren't too many opportunities for girls in sports yet, the groundwork was being laid.<br><br>
Anyway, I remember seeing a woman in an adjoining lane in my pool one day during a period when there was a kids' open swim on one side and adult lap swimming on the other. The kids were being wild, throwing pool toys around, including into the lap lane, diving in after them, etc. etc. I was getting more and more irritated, but the other woman kept swimming right through the pool toys, ignored a couple that hit her, and just kept going, as if in another pool. I was amazed at her composure and focus. I couldn't even begin to equal it.
 
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