Runners Forum - Kick Runners banner
1 - 20 of 37 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,491 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was reading Kathleen's post about the abs and of course looked at her blog. I was reading about her IM training and her laundry and the balloons and all that stuff and then read the statement on the right side she says, "Someday I'll have more friends."<br><br>
How hard is it to have friends when your IM training. Up early and at the gym, work all day, then workout at night. Then hit the sack as early as you can. Weekends are spent on the bike or running and on the odd recovery weekend, your trying to relax and recover as well as do those things that you just couldn't do while piling on big hours training.<br><br>
Where do the friends fit in? I have some friends, but when they want to go out and party, I have to say no. Do I give up a 5 or 6 hour ride on Saturday for a night out?<br><br>
CS
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,542 Posts
I was thinking about this the other day- actually feeling sorry for myself is a better term for it.<br><br>
My closest friend wants me to spend a good deal of my weekends backpacking this summer. I finally had to say, I'm sorry, but I can't. If you want me to go with you, it'll have to wait until my season is over in mid Sept. I was worried that she wouldn't understand and that she would be angry. But she surprised me and said that she understood and sent in our permit applications for the end of September.<br><br>
On the flip side- she is running her first ever 5K a week from Sunday. And yeah, I'll be running with her, at her speed all the way across the finish line.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,990 Posts
Dude. Sometimes - Yes, without a freakin' doubt! In fact, I'm giving up my morning swim tomorrow for a fine brew or two tonight. The sacrifices I make!<br><br>
Reg.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
918 Posts
I think it's all about personal choice and my personal choice is to find balance in my life. I MAKE time for friends. I love doing tri's but I don't schedule my whole life around it. Like skiing. I love skiing but many people in my tri club thinks it's crazy to ski, you could hurt yourself!! But it's all about balance. Gotta learn that when you have a family.<br><br>
I make time for all the important things in my life. I don't have a zillion friends but at least 8 or 9 long term close friends and no tri training will ever be more important than them!<br><br>
Maybe I won't go out for that beer the night before a long long ride, but I'll meet them at the park with the kids right after the ride, or figure something else out.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,572 Posts
I was just talking to my DH about this a couple of days ago - some friends of ours would like to get a weekend where we all go camping, and I'm busy trying to figure out which weekend would work best with my training schedule and I think they find it all too annoying to try to schedule something like this with me. While it's not that difficult on the weekend to go to a dinner out with friends (we don't really do bars/late nights these days anyway), anything beyond that becomes work.<br><br>
It seems at this point in my life I have a small number of friends that I remain close to, but I've lost touch with so many between working full time, being a mom and the tri-training - my current 'social life' revolves around work friends and tri friends. Whether it's healthy or not, I don't know.<img alt="confused.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/confused.gif">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,990 Posts
Bring a bike. Bring sneakers. Problem solved. Done so for at least three camping weekends - with the bonus that you get to train in unfamiliar territory. For me - cycled by Three Mile Island in PA; took a 5 hour bike ride in the Adirondacks (okay - DW was a bit pissed about that one <img alt="biggrin.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/biggrin.gif">); and ran in scenic Bozrah or Montville CT. Really - schedule the camping weekend to your friends' convenience - just let them know you'll be unavailable for a couple of hours on each day.<br><br>
Reg.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,496 Posts
For the most part, my "friends" fall into one of a few categories...<br><ul><li>People I train with.</li>
<li>The parents of other kids on my kids' sports teams or in their scout groups.</li>
<li>Work friends.</li>
<li>Church friends.</li>
<li>My wife's friends.</li>
</ul><br>
Other than that... Pretty much nuthin'.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
424 Posts
I am not a social butterfly. I have always migrated towards the individual sports like weight lifting, cycling, running, triathlon, etc. So, not having many friends does not bother me. I have a few that understand my love for my family and triathlon, and they either go with the flow or find other things to do.<br><br>
My family, though, is big into taking our travel trailer out. We schedule trips with other families, and I adjust my weekly schedule accordingly. Those weekends always means a long run on that Sat morning. I look forward to the change of scenery and the change of topography. This usually means getting up pre-dawn and on the road before daylight. By the time I return, everyone is starting to stir and I enjoy the rest of the day with them. Sunday, in this scenario, is scheduled as a rest day.<br><br>
We are not part of the party crowd, so "going out" usually involves potluck at someone's house. I eat so I can train. Our friends know what I am like, and they are not offended...they are more amused at my seriousness and think it's quirky. It is the topic for much fun and flattery for me.<br><br>
I involve my family and friends in all of my races, and most times the races become reasons for mini-vacations. Basically, triathlon is a huge part of who I am right now and my family and friends understand this. I plan everything, including my time with them. It's just a matter of planning so everyone gets some time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,491 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I'd drop a swim in a second, but it's hard to schedule a 5 hour ride and then run.<br><br>
A brew or 2 wouldn't stop me from riding either. My firends want us to come over and party. The parties end at 2 or 3 and I have to leave early. I then have ot hear about how I'm a party pooper and can't hang with friends.<br><br>
CS
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,062 Posts
It's easy to have friends when they are your training partners, or you are all training for the same races. Over the past several years, we've formed a growing group of friends that do what we do. Really, though, those are the only folks we hang out with these days. So, I guess we've lost some along the way, but we've gained more.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25,018 Posts
I have friends. I just never do things with them, really, unless they are active as well and can join in that.<br><br>
Part of it's because I'm not a "people-person" and like being alone... part of it is because I far prefer to spend my time exercising than other stuff.<br>
The bad thing about that is when my training is waaaaaaay down, like it is now, I feel awkward trying to make plans with people I've put off before <img alt="surprised.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/surprised.gif">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,089 Posts
I dunno....I've always been kind of a loner so it has never really been an issue with me I guess. Dh and I are pretty much homebodies anyway, and when we do get together with friends it usually involves whole families getting together so typically isn't very late anyway. In our younger days we used to party until 2 or 3 in the morning, but these days we're lucky if we can make it to 11:00.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,134 Posts
I have lots of different friends. I try to make time...but they know I'm busy.<br><br>
So-H...you coming over laterz or what?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,572 Posts
That's the general idea...but I'm still trying to do it on a 'light' training weekend so I can actually enjoy some of the camping part!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,689 Posts
Right now, I don't have any "real" friends. You know, someone you would call in a crisis. I have plenty of on-line friends and friends from the gym.<br><br>
Hubby and I used to host a Bible study. One evening, someone brought some "adult beverages". I had to say no because I had a long early morning ride planned the next day. These "friends" kept nagging me to drink anyway. Sorry, but no... Luckily, that group broke up.<br><br>
As far as weekends away. Grandma just got released from a rehab facility, and this weekend I need to go and take care of her. So I'll run very early Saturday morning (2.5hrs run). Shower, then head up. Sunday afternoon my aunt will come up to relieve me. Then, I'll ride with the group I used to ride with back home. Sounds like a perfect weekend plan!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,466 Posts
In my previous, single, drunk college boy life, I was quite social. But then, I was also a good 85lbs larger. In losing that weight, I lost that kind of social life. And since I have moved, I have kinda distanced from my old friends. I stay connected to them because I happen to still work with one of them, but I see them only for the occasional sporting event or wedding.<br>
In my new life, I am much more focused on being a better person. I am still trying to build a new group of friends that will help me with being better. Mostly, we go do dinner or playing Wii at my house, so making time for my new friends is alot easier than going out drinking like I would with the other guys. Plus, my new friends are quite active, so that helps alot.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,481 Posts
I see the struggle....<br><br>
BUT, I have a friend who had kids. She's not a "go out and eat/party/drink" person so much anymore.<br><br>
So, just as your lifestyle changes when you have kids....<br>
your lifestyle changes when you make a committment to workout and train.<br><br>
For me....as a single person....it's actually helping, because it fills my time. I don't feel bored or lonely if I have something going on that I'm supposed to be doing. I workout early mornings, mostly....but that means that I have evenings available for classes (work), or for church stuff, or for house stuff. I'm still trying to figure out how to get stuff done on Sats after long rides/runs, though. They still make me tired to the point of needing a nap. lol
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,306 Posts
Hmm, I'm not very social. In fact, I could probably use some more friends in 'real' life. I find that I'm at an in-between part of my life. Late 20s, early 30s most of the people I would call friends are having babies. DH and I aren't there yet, so that's tough in its own right. And then I am training for a HIM which takes up time, and coaching, and working. When I have time I want to spend it w/DH.<br><br>
Alright, that was odd...moving on.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,319 Posts
we moved 40+ miles from most of our friends, many of whom have kids, so we have a very hard time seeing them anyway.<br><br>
our big issue is balancing working on our house (which could be a full time job) with all of the rest of life, PLUS tri training.<br><br>
Thank G*D that both of us are training... I don't know how I would handle it if my husband didn't "get" it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,231 Posts
Friends??<br><br>
How about a BOYFRIEND??? I complain that I don't have a boyfriend, but when would I have the time to date? then again, I'm hoping to find a hot tri-dude.<br><br>
as for my friends....95% of them are triathletes! so that works out! We ride for 5 hours or run for 2 hours. I always have someone to train with.<br><br>
If I want to do things with the other 5% of my friends, I'll train at 530am, but that also means early bedtimes. geeesh....everyone should be a triathlete, then I'd have more friends!
 
1 - 20 of 37 Posts
Top