A triathlete cobbled in his bike cleats into a bar where, unbeknownst to him, the locals had a habit of picking on newcomers. After a few drinks, the triathlete went back outside to find his bike... it was gone!<br><br>
Triathlete comes back into the bar and jabs his aero helmet in the air, flexes his rather large muscles, and yells with a sturdy voice, "I am Ironman... now who stole my Cervelo?"<br><br>
The locals, now in fear of this thing called Ironman, slinked back in their barstools without a peep.<br><br>
Triathlete speaks up again: "I'm gonna have another beer and if my bike ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I did the last time someone stole my bike!"<br><br>
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. Triathlete had another beer, walked outside, and there it was -- his Cervelo P3 Carbon was back!<br><br>
As Ironman tossed his leg over the shiny bike, the bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened last time someone stole your bike?"<br><br>
Triathlete turned back and said, "I bought this Cervelo!"
How does this sound?:<br><br>
Giants!!!<br><br><i>If Eli is interception-free, it could happen.</i><br><br>
"... I did. The bottom half."