[Grizzly]

Our friend with cancer moves within several of the small musical circles here in Calgary - that of her singer/songwriter husband, that of the woman's singer's circle, that of the Thursday night jam session crowd, that of her banjo class... you get the picture.<br><br>
Now that she's on last ditch chemo there's a few of us who feel utterly helpless as to what to do for her other than the obvious vigorous hand wringing. (Oh and cooking meals etc.)<br><br>
I have suggested to a few wiser friends that maybe we might want to put on an "all Sue request" night where all of her musical friends would get together and perform for her or with her if she's up for it - at her request.<br><br>
My fear is that this would either be too much for her physically and she'd feel that she'd HAVE to attend, or that it would be interpreted as a "good-bye" when really it's meant as an encouragement and a "we're with you" type of thing. For the first one I guess I'd book three dates and have everyone hold those dates and decide based on how she feels... for the second one, I dunno.<br><br>
I might see her tonight, and I'm thinking of asking her outright, but I don't want her to feel beholden to anyone, especially if she'd not up for it.<br><br>
Maybe this isn't a good idea at all? What do you think?

 

[equinox marathon 43]

Grizzly -<br><br>
Just a thought...<br><br>
What if you made the show some kind of benefit fund raiser for some cancer foundation in Canada and she was a guest of honor? In that way she wouldn't feel like it's a "Good bye" night<br><br>
Just a thought...it's free advice...and that's probably about what it's worth. <img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/smile.gif">

 

[Buxtehude]

I think it's a great idea.<br><br>
I'm not sure that the "goodbye party" worry is a big concern. She might appreciate the honesty of it. EQ's idea is good too.

 

[willrun4chocolate]

Grizzly, I dont think I've ever known you to have a bad idea, I think you should ask her.

 

[tigger]

I agree on asking her what she thinks.

 

[RaisingArizonainNH]

It sounds like a lovely idea. Ask her, and let her be as big a part of it as she would like. You can always record the concert and let her see it at home if she isn't up to coming out. The fundraiser idea is a good idea also. It stinks to be where your not sure what you can do to help. In my few experiences with this, honesty and any efforts were appreciated so much by the person and their family.

 

[Auntie Moe]

My mom told me last weekend the last thing she wants to be remembered by is "her brave and long battle against cancer"...she doesn't want her legacy to be that. So I think if you're friend can have a huge music night with all of you, it will remind her that this is how you know her and want to continue to support her.<br><br>
Good luck and please let me know if you need to talk about this...I know how hard it is.

 

[jacqibay]

wow..you are a good person grizz, please let us know what you end up doing.

 

[Grizzly]

Well I had an opportunity to ask her in person. Her best friend is off to Australia with her partner - and tonight was a going away party / pot luck / music session.<br><br>
She loved the idea and gave me the date - the day before her next Chemo session in April. She said she wanted it to be at her place so that if she needed to she could go and lie down - no pressure - and she gave me a kiss for thinking of it. Blush.<br><br>
She also sang "Give Yourself To Love" by Kate Wolf. It was for our friends as a good-bye gift, but I don't think there was a dry eye.<br><br>
Kind friends all gathered 'round, there's something I would say:<br>
That what brings us together here has blessed us all today.<br>
Love has made a circle that holds us all inside;<br>
Where strangers are as family, loneliness can't hide.<br><br>
You must give yourself to love if love is what you're after;<br>
Open up your hearts to the tears and laughter,<br>
And give yourself to love, give yourself to love.<br><br>
I've walked these mountains in the rain and learned to love the wind;<br>
I've been up before the sunrise to watch the day begin.<br>
I always knew I'd find you, though I never did know how;<br>
Like sunshine on a cloudy day, you stand before me now.<br><br>
So give yourself to love if love is what you're after;<br>
Open up your hearts to the tears and laughter,<br>
And give yourself to love, give yourself to love.<br><br>
Love is born in fire; it's planted like a seed.<br>
Love can't give you everything, but it gives you what you need.<br>
And love comes when you're ready, love comes when you're afraid;<br>
It'll be your greatest teacher, the best friend you have made.<br><br>
So give yourself to if love is what you're after;<br>
Open up your hearts to the tears and laughter,<br>
And give yourself to love, give yourself to love.<br><br>
Give yourself to love, if love is what you're after;<br>
Open up your hearts to the tears and laughter,<br>
And give yourself to love, give yourself to love.

 

[jacqibay]

I'm glad she liked your idea.<br><br>
how beautiful! I feel like I should know this song-<br><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1dZ-x8DLDQ" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1dZ-x8DLDQ</a>

 

[tigger]

Sumpin Hoppinin!!<br><br>
Aren't you glad now that you asked?

 

[altoids]

wow. Those lyrics...

 

[seattlegirl]

Dude.<br><br>
Sniff.<br><br><img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.kickrunners.com/smilies/smile.gif">

 

[Grizzly]

It's official. She's embraced the idea and is so thrilled by it that she says that she'll work on being well enough to play some with us. Her tumour is under her left armpit and it makes guitar / banjo very painful.<br><br>
Sometimes it pays to go with one's intuition, right?<br><br>
And our quartet will learn this song in 4 parts, perhaps not for the evening, but for her.

 

[hally]

Grizz<br>
She is lucky to have you as a friend.<br><br>
Cancer SUCKS!!!

 

[mmoonptdeux]

Wonderful that you were able to work it all out, Grizz.<br><br>
And yeah, those Kate Wolf lyrics are really awesome...

 

[Auntie Moe]

Yes it does.

 

[torque]

Great idea, Steve! Did she play at your concert last year?

 

[Grizzly]

Yeah, she and her husband did a set.

 

[torque]

Steve, I'm trying to place her, did she also play the flute?