Runners Forum - Kick Runners banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,232 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<b>ADMIN:</b> Feel free to delete this if this is not in keeping with the spirit of the Forum. I am just having a little fun.<br><br>
For those that saw my post on Sunday's run, you might have noticed I did a marathon distance (and then some) run. Well, here is a full blown (tounge-in-cheek) report on the "marathon".<br><br><b>August 12th, 2007</b><br><i>East Wakefield, NH</i><br><br>
The 3rd ever Balch Lake invitational marathon was held on Sunday. Personally, I don't care if it is ever held again. This was, without a doubt, the most evil marathon I've ever run.<br><br>
First, let's talk for a second about the "invitational" part. The idiot race director forgot to send all of the invitations, except for mine. So, I ended up being the only competitor to show up!<br><br>
Second, race bibs and goody bags? The race director forgot those too. So, I didn't have a number and I didn't get any kind of goodies for running the race.<br><br>
Third, let's talk about water stops, or the lack thereof. What kind of idiot race director plans a marathon in August in New England and only has 1 water stop on the course??? And that 1 water stop wasn't even set up by the race director, it is a pipe on the side of the road that pipes water out from a mountain spring! With no water stops, I was glad I brought my CamelBak with me.<br><br>
Fourth, the course. The original course looks <a href="http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=13301" target="_blank">like this</a> but of course, the idiot race director had to go and change the course on race morning. Normally at about mile 8.7 there is a right hand turn you take to go down to the mountain spring at mile 12.2. On the way back, you pass this same spot, and would normally do a 1-mile out and then the 1-mile back to this spot. But instead, the race director changed it, and had the competitors (namely me) do the 1-mile out and 1-mile back before going down to the spring. When asked why, the RD said "I don't know." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/mad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Mad"><br>
Also, this RD really needs to get his head out of his butt. Come on folks, this is supposed to be a marathon, and the course comes in at 26.7 miles? What the heck???<br><br>
Fifth, post race. Finishers medals? Nah. Food and beverages? Nah. Hardware for the top finishers???? Nah.<br><br>
Sixth, start time. What's with starting a marathon at 5:45am???? Seriously!<br><br>
Seventh, I didn't see a single course marker on the road or a volunteer to point me in the right direction. It's a good thing I knew where I was going!<br><br>
Eighth, mile markers, or lack thereof. There wasn't a single marker on the course. It's a good thing I knew where at least a couple of the markers were to give me an idea of pace.<br><br>
So, I started the race and had trouble getting the legs to turn over at a fast pace. The first 0.8 of a mile is on a dirt road that isn't in the best of shape. It has a nasty little hill from right after the 1/2 mile mark up to the 3/4 mile mark.<br><br>
I could tell in the first mile it wasn't going to be my day speed wise, but I wanted to at least finish.<br><br>
The second and third miles are fairly flat. The first major climb of the day came right after mile 3. A 1/2 mile long hill. It was here I noticed that there was a big difference between the temperatures down at the bottom of the big hills and at the top of the hills. At the top, it was much warmer than at the bottom.<br><br>
When I got to mile 5, I looked at my watch. I knew it wasn't going to be a good day at that point. I was around 54:00. I really wasn't setting the world on fire this morning. On the plus side my heart rate was only about 125.<br><br>
Just before the mile 6 marker, we started to climb a nasty mile long hill. The 6 mile marker was about halfway up this hill. I got to the mile 6 marker in 1:04:38, very slow by my standards, but I was feeling good. I grabbed my first gel and continued on.<br><br>
Once I crested that large hill, the next part of the course is what I call the triple-descent (which later becomes a triple-climb). After the triple-descent, I climbed a small hill and was soon at the dam on the end of Balch Pond. The next part of the course was a short but very steep climb to the start of the course change.<br><br>
Once I reached the course change, I did the out and back portion. On the end of the out and back I was at mile 10.7 and did the mile 6 to mile 10.7 in 49:15. I was still feeling okay, and the HR was still fairly low, around 130. I made the left hand turn and started the 3.5 miles down to the mountain spring.<br><br>
The first 2.5 miles of this section are, for the most part down hill. There is a short climb at the start, then a short descent, then a second short climb before another triple-descent. Fortunately, I didn't have to climb this one on the way back. Of course, that only meant that I had a more difficult challenge in front of me. The RD is a masochist when it comes to hills. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Smile"><br><br>
I took my second gel at about mile 12, then continued on to the mountain spring at mile 14.2. I did the 10.7 to 14.2 stretch in 36:48.1. Again, not very fast by my standards.<br><br>
After stopping to refill my Camelbak (due to the lack of waterstops), and then started out again. It was 1 mile until a left hand turn on Maine Route 110, then about another mile until I started some nasty climbs.<br><br>
At about mile 16.2 (which is 14.2 on the course profile map due to the course change), there is a nasty triple-climb. It starts with a steep long climb, then a plateau, then a second less steep climb, then a plateau, then a third climb. Upon reaching the top of the third climb, it descends for a while, setting you up for, you guessed it, another triple-climb. Once through those hills, I turned back onto the road that leads down to the mountain spring. This time I turned right and headed back to where the course change was.<br><br>
Once I reached the end of that road, I turned left and descended a steep but short hill. This set me up for the final triple climb of the day (the first one I had descended around mile 7). It was during that triple climb, I saw my maximum heart rate for the day at 157.<br><br>
After completing the triple climb, I started down the hill I had climbed before and after the mile 6 marker. At mile 21.9, I passed the dirt road where we had started the race.<br><br>
I got to mile 21.9 from the spring (mile 14.2) in 1:21:06. I took my 3rd gel at mile 16.2, before the first triple-climb.<br><br>
The last 4.8 miles were tough. The first 2 miles of this section are over the same course that mile 0.8 to mile 2.8 follows. My stomach was bit upset. I looked around for a porta-john just in case, but of course, do you think the RD had ordered any??? Ugh. I took my fourth gel anyway and continuted to trudge along. Once I had done the 2 miles out, I turned around, and retraced my steps to the end of the dirt road where we started. The last 0.2 of this back portion was over the same hill that led me up to the mile 6 marker. It was nasty after 25.7 miles.<br><br>
Turning left onto the dirt road I followed it for the final 0.8 miles to the finish line. The dirt road was tough as there were a lot of loose stones, so I took my time and just tried to relax.<br><br>
I did the last 4.8 miles in 49:39.5.<br><br>
As I crossed the finish line, since I was the only competitor, I had won. I had also finished DFL! But was there a tape for me to break? I think you know the answer. The RD had fumbled the ball on everything else, why would this be any different???<br><br>
Heck, he didn't even have a finish line clock, so I have no idea what time he had recorded! By my watch, less the time to stop at the mountain spring, I finished the 26.7 miles in 4:46:30.4, or 10:32.5 per mile. I was very disappointed in the time. The previous 2 times I've run this, I've done 4:37 and 4:05. However, those were both after a day off so the legs were fresher.<br><br>
After the race I went over and the race director "Next year, lose my invitation too!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Very Happy"><br><br>
Oh one more thing, that idiot race director is a KickRunner. He goes by the screen name <b>equinox marathon 43</b>. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Very Happy">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,337 Posts
EQ:<br>
I loved it!<br>
Tongue Cheek and all.<br><br>
Great run. It's not everyday someone wins in all age groups! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Very Happy">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,299 Posts
Heh, good fun EQ.<br><br>
Don't knock the RD. If he adds 5 miles and nothing else, its a perfectly executed FA run!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
16,290 Posts
hehe. sounds like a good training run, fast pace, imo.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,268 Posts
EQ, you're funny! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Smile"><br><br>
(and a little nuts doing 26.7 before doing your actual marathon .... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> )
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,588 Posts
EQ - to place both first and last, you were the alpha and the omega of the race! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Very Happy"><br><br>
What a fun report to read!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,709 Posts
<b>EQ</b> - boy that RD dropped the ball, huh? however, an impressive showing on such a poorly run race. well done! (and a great report, too!)<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.kickrunners.com/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Very Happy">
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,214 Posts
Terrible run - Coming last like that you should be ashamed of yourself!<br><br>
Brilliant - Victory is Yours - Full credit for gritting it and winning well!<br><br>
**** Delete as applicable ****
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top