He left for Toronto today to be interviewed for a scholarship. I wanted so much to tell him how much I love him and appreciate the man he has become, and so I wrote him a note and tucked it in his suitcase. It brought back memories of the little love notes I'd hide in his and his brother's lunch bags.

I loved them from the moment I knew that they were nestled in their mother's womb. Rather, I loved the idea of them. Hopes, dreams, fears, excitement all bundled up in a sense of anticipation.

Then the epiphany, the moment of understanding, that first look at them and the sure certainty that here were people I could die for. The realization that they... were. And from that moment on, the certainty of their personhood and the meeting of that growing individual with the bundle of hopes and dreams that we had for them. The thunderous clarity that the love I had for these little men was far more than I could ever have imagined.

That long goodbye, it's the letting go of my hopes and dreams for them as they develop their own and choose their goals for their own lives as adults. I can't let go of all of it though, I wish them joy in their lives, I hope they find love and give love wastefully, I want them to know that I love them.

Well said Grizzly. One of the toughest things I think a parent has to do is realize that the lives we've brought about and nurtured are now free to do and chose without our input. I have been dealing with letting my 18yr old daughter move on with her young adut life, and it is difficult. Great thing with the notes!