6/15/2009 7:47 AM
Dear Dumb Blog,
Day 1 of my training for the Army Ten Miler is completed. I set my alarm clock for 5:50 something this morning so I could get out there before the sun came out too much. Of course when the alarm went off I hit snooze and rolled back over. When it went off again, I hit snooze again and wrestled with the thoughts of really just wanting to go back to sleep although I knew full well that my body would be awake shortly anyway.
You can go run this evening. It’ll be cooler, the sun will be going down, it’ll be much better.
Who are you kidding? You know you’re not going to run this evening. Get up!!!!!
So I rolled out of bed with the promise that I could take a nap later. (After I got school work done, after I picked up stuff from the STB ex, after I got done with my doctor’s appointment. Wait…isn’t this supposed to be my day off????)
At 6:30 I began my run and already that was too late with temps being 76 degrees with 87% humidity. One of the cruel ironies of weather is usually when it’s the hottest part of the day, that’s when the humidity is the lowest. Death by scorching or death by sauna? Decisions decisions. Speaking of death, on a totally random note, I missed the fact that David Carradine died…tsk tsk…I really didn’t like the Kung Fu series or think he was a good actor, but he was nonetheless legendary. Anyway, back to my run.
I have nothing significant to report about my run. No great epiphanies, no runner’s high, just a hot, humid, 3 mile SLOW run. I think I did my run correctly in that lap 1 was slow, lap 2 was faster, and lap 3 was slower than 2 but faster than 1. I’m trying to do things different this time around. I’m trying to just run, to just get out there and get it done. I’m trying to be kinder and more forgiving of myself. There’s no shame in just running to finish, there’s no shame in running slower than before, after all it’s fucking hot. (I’m telling myself these things, but only half heartedly believing them)
One thing I did ponder on my run was HOW THE **** DID I DO THIS BEFORE? How did I motivate myself to run 13 miles? I remember doing it, I remember some runs were better than others, and I remember that great feeling of accomplishment that came from when I was done. I looked forward to my runs, not because I like running, because it never feels natural to me, but I liked running so I could have that feeling of accomplishing something difficult. Now the things that keeps me running are the facts that I’ve signed up for and paid for this race in Washington DC, my body seems to hurt when I don’t run, and I hate to admit it but I think running really is my Prozac. I wish I felt about running like some people do, but it’s ok…I’ll make it through this run (baring any injuries) and then I’ve promised myself that I might try exploring something else like biking. (If I can ever afford the bike lol) We’ll see…who knows…maybe between now and October I’ll find that great love for running that I’ve been chasing for the past 3 years…
I am certain that your success as a runner, and in all things is due more to the strength of your fighting spirit than anything else. Seabee