and I'm not talking about sex.
As most of you know, my mother is very ill, with stage 5 BC. Her last treatment failed to work, and she is now on a more traditional and aggressive one. Her cancer will not be cured, so it's a matter of containing it and controlling it. She is just 61.
My mother told me she loved me for the first time recently. I burst into tears. This was during a wedding reception, I might add. This is SO my mother. We just don't do this in my family...ever.
Since then I've realized what a waste of precious time this is. Why don't I tell the people I love that I love them?? I'm not talking about my husband, who I do say it to, or my dog and cat, who are the closest thing I've got to kids. But my family and friends? Esp my friends...why is this so hard?
So I decided I would. I would tell my friends. Individually most often, but sometimes in small group emails if it is appropriate...like to my close girlfriends who I was thanking for their support.
The response I have gotten has been overwhelming to me. One friend told me he loved me before I got to tell him...I think he knew it was imminent. Another told me when I explained that I was having a hard time telling people I love them, that it felt so awkward and honest. Another friend, I blurted it out to, and she happily responded in kind. One of my dear friends sent me this note, my favorite, in reply:I love you, too; you are one of my favorite people on the face of the earth (I seem to have a thing for kooks!) and every minute I've spent with you has been a hoot.
I have been walking around with a smile on my face and joy in my heart for days...I'm nearly swooning with love and happiness. I wish I'd known earlier.