Love begets love... - KickRunners.com
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#1 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 03:41 AM - Thead Starter
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and I'm not talking about sex.

As most of you know, my mother is very ill, with stage 5 BC. Her last treatment failed to work, and she is now on a more traditional and aggressive one. Her cancer will not be cured, so it's a matter of containing it and controlling it. She is just 61.

My mother told me she loved me for the first time recently. I burst into tears. This was during a wedding reception, I might add. This is SO my mother. We just don't do this in my family...ever.

Since then I've realized what a waste of precious time this is. Why don't I tell the people I love that I love them?? I'm not talking about my husband, who I do say it to, or my dog and cat, who are the closest thing I've got to kids. But my family and friends? Esp my friends...why is this so hard?

So I decided I would. I would tell my friends. Individually most often, but sometimes in small group emails if it is appropriate...like to my close girlfriends who I was thanking for their support.

The response I have gotten has been overwhelming to me. One friend told me he loved me before I got to tell him...I think he knew it was imminent. Another told me when I explained that I was having a hard time telling people I love them, that it felt so awkward and honest. Another friend, I blurted it out to, and she happily responded in kind. One of my dear friends sent me this note, my favorite, in reply:

I love you, too; you are one of my favorite people on the face of the earth (I seem to have a thing for kooks!) and every minute I've spent with you has been a hoot.

I have been walking around with a smile on my face and joy in my heart for days...I'm nearly swooning with love and happiness. I wish I'd known earlier.

love1.gif

"And all our fears were in vain, a dream, just like the Lord said."
- Jack Kerouac, Desolation Angels

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#2 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 03:47 AM
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Love is a powerful thing. Don't feel like time has been wasted; love makes time irrelevant smile.gif
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#3 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 03:51 AM
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Two months ago when Ryan Shea died in the NYC Marathon I wrote a short tribute to him over at Cool Running in the Boomers and Beyond 40/40 Club. I said that we all must remember to tell the people precious to us that we love them. You never know when it will be too late. Now that Active.com has devoured that site the message was lost but I understand what you are saying.

Be strong. Your mother will appreciate you putting on a brave face. I hope your remaining time with her is enriching and that she will not suffer much.
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#4 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 03:53 AM
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(((((((Maureen))))))))
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#5 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 07:54 AM
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(((Maureen & mom)))

we do not do this in my family either. I think I am going to try something soon

thank you
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#6 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 10:49 AM
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Thank you for the reminder. smile.gif I am happy you and your mom connected like that, and that it set you up to give and receive more, Auntie Moe.

Have faith in you and the things you do.

My (mostly about) Running Blog
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#7 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 10:55 AM
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you're great, moe.
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#8 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 11:30 AM
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Moe, my family is like yours. I have an easier time telling certain of my friends that I love them than I do my family. Good for you for making this effort. I can learn something from you, I think.

Kris
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#9 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 12:05 PM
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Thank you for your post. Wow.
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#10 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 12:30 PM
 
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What a great gift and legacy from your Mom...parents often seem to wonder if they have made their childrens' lives better. Guess you can tell her the answer from your own heart. Thanks for sharing that.
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#11 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 12:47 PM
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I think this one is a "keeper".

Purveyor of Awesome since 1958.

 

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#12 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 12:54 PM
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I nominate this for ye' olde' shoebox.
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#13 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 12:56 PM
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AM, Thanks for posting. I can relate. I'm glad you have found some peace... and the rest of your life, and your mother's will be better for it. smile.gif

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

 

~Aristotle

 

 

Greatness is a lot of small things done well, stacked on top of each other.

— Ray Lewis 

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#14 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 12:57 PM
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With the Beloved's water of life, no illness remains
In the Beloved's rose garden of union, no thorn remains.
They say there is a window from one heart to another
How can there be a window where no wall remains?

- Rumi

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward. - Jack Handy
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#15 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 04:14 PM
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Bump. This one doesn't deserve to be buried beneath the polls.

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#16 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 05:19 PM
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Maureen,

Quit making me cry at work!!!!!

your pal,

oache

ps...I'm so proud of you for so many reasons but I'll put this one at the top of my list.

I start cussing at the farm animals as I pass. Really, punk cow? Now you wanna race? WTF where you the first 10 miles? That's right, you were sitting on your ass chewing some cud. lazy POS......refinnej
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#17 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 05:21 PM
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smile.gifsmile.gifsmile.gif
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#18 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 05:27 PM
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(((Moe & Mom)))
Moe, thanks for making me think about what is important!!
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#19 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 07:48 PM
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Maureen, my family doesn't say it either. Sometimes, when things are really difficult or I'm struggling, I want more than anything to hear my parents assure me that they love me.

You are a wonderful person. I'm very glad to have gotten to know you. (((Maureen)))
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#20 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 07:52 PM
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I like that my son still says he loves me..usually it's an absent mindedness sort of comment....but it still counts. smile.gif

Well put, Torque! . ~ Dcoroner77
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#21 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 08:47 PM
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Maureen - my family is a lot like that as well. I guess it's just been always the way, but maybe one day....

You're one helluva' person, Maureen - it's been truly an honor & pleasure to get to know you better

How to run a marathon: Step 1: You start running. There is no Step 2
- Joe
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#22 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 09:09 PM
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Great reminder for all of us!!! Thanks Auntie Moe smile.gif Hang tough, girl!
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#23 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 09:16 PM
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#24 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 09:20 PM - Thead Starter
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That's very kind of you...I was worried that I'd regret posting this. Everyone's responses have been so lovely.

I explained to a friend that I feel like the Grinch, at the end of the story...when his heart grows three sizes. It is a very good feeling.

"And all our fears were in vain, a dream, just like the Lord said."
- Jack Kerouac, Desolation Angels

Yeah, I have a blog....
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#25 of 34 Old 01-15-2008, 09:24 PM
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((((((((((Auntie Moe and Mom)))))))))))))) Thanks for the reminder!
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