So many topics laced in your original note. Let me pick a few...
"Its embarrassing to train so hard,look in super shape,but go to compete and get beat by people that I do,to the point of not disclosing when my races are,as to not have my family or friends to be there,and yes I am serious....So serious in fact,that after my last 5K this Saturday,I dont know if I will be racing again."
You need to get over this. Stop comparing yourself with others. And accept who you are. I mean that. Life is far too short to give that much credence over this kinds of stuff. This is taking self image to the wrong level. In my opinion.
Along these lines, we all take ourselves seriously, but some take themselves a little too seriously, and I think -- from only the text here -- that you are stepping over the lines. Just to be fair here, I'll pick on myself: I have been running for many, many years, but last year, for the first time in a 20 year running "career", I got into trail running by way of mountain races. These races expose one of my biggest weaknesses. It is in the back of my head each and every race that I can't even come close, and I never will, to top 10 and even to guys who I can easily beat in regular road races of any distance. But that's where I leave it -- in the back of my head. This doesn't mean that I don't try hard to get even faster on the mountains. It means that I accept who I am as a runner, I acknowledge my weaknesses, that I am not perfect a runner, and I do what I can to work on it all. To be embarrassed to the point where I would take myself out of a race, or even consider it, to me would be getting away from the joy I extract from this.
And that's just it. Go out there and have fun. Who the flip cares what others think. The truth is that nobody but nobody gives a care what the time on the clock read when YOU finished; they only care about the time on the clock when THEY finished. It is a selfish sport. Keep it that way. Or at least try. But don't not do a race because you're worried what others might think. That to me sounds wrong.
To your point of some people being better suited to running... of course some people are better suited. There is a guy in the mountain races I do who is in his 50's and usually wins his age group. He always comes in ahead of me. I know I am having a good day if I can see him during the later stages of one of those races. He started running for the first time in his life 7 years ago. Is this fair? He's older than me and I have been running at a high level (for myself) for nearly three times the amount of time as him. Everybody is different. Of course this is fair. Same as in any other part of life.
I have a saying, "Do what you can and do no more." I use this as a mantra to tell myself to work hard, do every little bit I can, and then let the rest go. Because we are as athletes who we are. We can never be more than we are. We can want to be more, and even pretend to be more, and dream to be more. But we can only be who we are.
Moving on... I think others have hit on a possible issue with mechanics, but I don't think you have a mechanical issue. I would think your body is overloaded with slowtwitch fibers, moreso than many others. As an example, I have a love of soccer; I played socially for many, many years, but whenever I get more into marathon training and running, I can't play ball anymore because I lose that quick cutting and burst speed ability, and I lose that because the fast twitch fibers in my legs go to slowtwitch. What you may have is an abundance of slowtwitch.
You can, however, convert the slowtwitch to fast, but it takes a different kind of training. You can try a few things, or do research on your own to figure out what to do. The gist is that your leg turnover is slow. Try to work on getting turnover. You already have the strength, but you need to layer in speed (leg turnover). You just have too much strength. Your legs are like diesel engine rather than high octane racing engines. You can work on leg turnover by setting up checkers on the ground and dancing along them (google on what high school coaches have their runners do) or even on the bike by working on cadence. Try to get your legs to feel more comfortable moving more quickly. And I do not think you will be as successful doing this on the track or with traditional speed work as much as you would with exercies, and I say that because I'm guessing you have that imbalance between slow and fast twitch fibers, with slow being far more than the other.
You're not alone here, though. Look at many of the people who have been running for a long time who run 4:30 or even 4:15 marathons. Their legs are lacking that faster turnover. But it's not just that. Their bodies aren't conditioned to process that kind of oxygen in and out while their legs move that quickly. You can get there. But a different kind of training is required.
When I first started cycling, I was painfully slow. As I continued cycling, I realized that I was only getting as fast as everyone else would with that kind of mileage -- everyone gets faster in the first x number of years of cycling, and if you don't you are doing something wrong. But I wasn't content with that. I want to ride extra fast, crazy fast. And so what I did were two things: I worked on pushed as big a gear as possible for as long as possible to build leg strength and convert my skinny runner legs into machines. And I worked on cadence, with high energy spins for only short duration. This fast twitch work helped me take the strength from the big gear stuff and be able to hold it longer. Without the fast twitch work, my strength would not have been best utilized. Because I would just be a steady state rider rather than one who would go hard (spin fast and push big gear) on demand. Similar stuff to running.